Love Finds Olivia Benson
by abbierena
Summary: AU. Part of the 'Cabenmichael Girls' universe. Not part 4 of the series, more like a fluffy little side story about Olivia trying to win Alex's heart on Valentine's Day.
1. Her Preschool Sweetheart

**February 14, 1979**

Five-year-old Olivia Benson sat down on the carpet in her preschool classroom, eagerly awaiting lunchtime. Her teacher had used masking tape to create squares on the carpet and each student had a designated square. Even though Alex was seated nowhere near her, Olivia couldn't help stealing glances every now and then when her teacher wasn't looking.

Little Olivia started looking at the clock to try to determine when it would be time for lunch. She wasn't particularly hungry, but she was eager for lunchtime because after they ate, she would get to play on the playground with Alex and playing with Alex was always the highlight of her day. Olivia didn't know how to tell time per se, but she knew when the little hand was on the 11 and the big hand was on the 12, it was time for lunch. The big hand was almost near the 12 so Olivia became fidgety. She uncrossed her legs and started to stretch out. When that didn't keep her busy enough, she started making silly faces to pass the time.

When the clock struck 11, her teacher rang the bell and Olivia ran over to her cubby to get her lunch box and the Valentine her mom had helped her make especially for Alex the night before.

"What do you have today?" Alex asked as they were sitting at the table in the lunchroom.

"Peanut butter and jelly," Olivia said with her mouth full. "What do you got?"

"The same thing you do," Alex responded before delicately nibbling on her sandwich.

Olivia couldn't take her eyes off of Alex the whole time they were eating. Even though Mr. and Mrs. Cabot had nothing planned for Alex that day, Mrs. Cabot had dressed her daughter in a new pink dress with Mary Jane shoes and white tights. Alex's hair was in two perfectly braided pigtails with ribbons on the bottom and Olivia noticed that she was wearing new glasses with pink frames.

"You look pretty," Olivia told her.

"Thank you," Alex said and started blushing. "You look pretty, too."

Olivia looked down at her Wonder Woman t-shirt and grass-stained jeans. Her mom had scrubbed them repeatedly, but Olivia never failed to come home with a new grass stain or mud stain on her jeans. She had always arrived at school with perfectly combed hair, but after spending time on the playground before school one pigtail always ended up slightly lower than the other. She hated to wear dresses or any type of girls clothes, but when Alex told her she was pretty she actually felt pretty.

As soon as they were finished, Olivia held Alex's hand as they walked over to the playground. Olivia felt her little hands become sweaty as she thought about what she had planned. She took Alex to the bench that they had sat five months before when Olivia had beat up the boy who was bullying Alex. They had been inseparable since that moment and Olivia felt as if she was now in love with Alex, as in love as she could be for a five-year-old.

"Is that for me?" Alex asked as she pointed to the red heart made of construction paper and covered with glitter.

"Yeah," Olivia said nervously and handed it over.

"_Be my valentine. Love, Olivia,_" Alex read aloud.

"Will you be my valentine, Alex?" Olivia asked shyly.

"Yes," Alex said and gave her a kiss on the cheek. "I love you, Olivia."

"I love you, too," Olivia said and gave Alex a kiss on the cheek in return.

**A/N: Happy Valentine's Day. I hope you enjoyed that little snippet. I'm not sure if this should be a little one shot or if I should add other AO Valentine's day experiences. Let me know what you think. :)**


	2. Rose Colored Petals

******A/N: Thanks for all of the positive feedback and suggestions. I know the last chapter was so short, so I decided to add another one today in honor of Valentine's Day. I hope you enjoy some 6-year-old AO love. :) By the way, there is going to be one chapter for each year that they've known each other.**

**February 14, 1980**

"Mommy!" Six-year-old Olivia shouted as she held the front door open. "Mommy! We're going to be late!"

The moment she got home from school, little Olivia put on her white turtleneck and new jeans that her mom had bought her for special occasions. She wasn't allowed to get them dirty so Olivia was extra careful when she had her after school snack. When she finished eating, she grabbed her blue tunic from her drawer and asked her mom to fix her hair. Olivia wasn't big on appearances, even for a six-year-old, but she always made sure she looked nice for her Daisy Girl Scout meetings because they were at Alex's house. Olivia was at Alex's house at least once a week, but she was still amazed by it.

"It's like a castle and Alex is like a princess," Olivia told her mom once they were in the car. "I wish Alex was my princess."

"She can't be your princess," Serena Benson said as she smiled at her daughter.

"Why?" Olivia asked.

"Because if Alex is your princess, that means you can't be Mommy's princess anymore," Serena explained. "If Alex is your princess that means you're her princess too."

"Mommy, you're silly," Olivia said and started giggling. "I don't want to be a princess. I'm Wonder Woman, remember?"

"Do you want to be Wonder Woman when you grow up?" Serena asked playfully.

"I don't know," Olivia said. "I might just be Wonder Woman now and when I'm all growed up I want to be a policeman."

"Police officer," Serena corrected. She may have only been six, but Ms. Benson was already teaching Olivia about feminism and the social construction of gender.

"Sorry, Mommy. I forgot," Olivia said. "Can girls be police officers? My teacher asked us what we wanted to be and all the boys said they wanted to be police officers or fire fighters, but when I said I wanted to be a police officer, meanie Jeffrey said I can't because I'm a girl."

"And that's why Jeffrey is a meanie," Serena said and pulled over into a parking lot so she could hold her daughter's little hand.

"Why did we stop, Mommy? This isn't Alex's house."

"I want to tell you something, Olivia," Serena began, "you're a smart little girl and a brave little girl. You can be anything you want to be when you grow up and I don't want you to ever let anyone tell you that you can't do something because you're a girl."

"Okay, Mommy," Olivia said and gave her a hug. "I love you."

"I love you, too, Livvy."

While she was hugging her mom, Olivia caught something out of the corner of her eye. Without so much as a warning, Olivia got out of the car and started running over to a stray dog that was aimlessly wandering around the parking lot.

"Here, boy!" Olivia called out and tried to whistle.

"Olivia Lorraine Benson!" Serena shouted as she chased after her daughter. "Stay right there, sweetheart. Don't go into the street."

"He's lost," Olivia said frantically. "We have to find his home."

"Livvy, he'll be okay," Serena told her daughter. "He probably just wandered off."

"What if he gets hurt? Or what if someone steals him, Mommy?"

"No one will steal him, baby," Serena insisted but her words weren't good enough for her daughter.

"But what if he stays out all night, Mommy? It's cold and what if he shivers and gets hungry? We have to find his home."

Little Olivia looked at the dog's collar and found an address engraved on a medallion.

"His name is Scruffy," Olivia told her mom.

"And where does Scruffy live?" Serena asked as she began petting the dog. "Can you read the address, little one?"

"I'm a big girl, not a little one," Olivia insisted. "Yeah, it says 538 Fourteenth Street. He lives in Fallbrook like us! We need to drive him to his home, Mommy."

Twenty-seven-year-old Serena had a dissertation to work on and a six-year-old to drive to a Girl Scout meeting, but she soon found herself with a dog in the backseat of her car as she drove to Fourteenth Street. She may have seemed overwhelmed, but she knew it was a small sacrifice if it meant her little girl got to be a hero to a lost dog.

"Do you want me to go to the door with you?" Serena asked once they had arrived at the house.

"No, I can do it," Olivia insisted. "Wonder Woman wouldn't have her mommy go to the door with her."

"Okay," Serena said and playfully touched Olivia's little nose. "But I'm waiting at the end of the walkway where I can see you. You may be Wonder Woman, but you're still just six-years-old."

"Deal," Olivia said excitedly. She opened the car door and walked with Scruffy to the front porch. Olivia rang the bell and started smiling when she saw an elderly woman answer the door.

"What do we have here?" the woman asked politely once she saw the six-year-old in a Girl Scout tunic.

"Hi, my name's Olivia," she told her. "I found Scruffy in a parking lot and me and my mommy drove him here so he wouldn't get stolen or be hungry tonight."

"I'm Mrs. Miller. You have to be the _sweetest _little girl I've ever met," the woman said and smiled at Olivia.

"Thank you," Olivia said politely before turning to the dog. "You can go inside now, Scruffy. You're nice and safe at home."

"A good little girl like you deserves a reward. I've been inside all day and I wouldn't even have known he left. Scruffy would have been lost and scared if not for you," Mrs. Miller said. "I baked some chocolate chip cookies and, if it's okay with your mommy, the two of you can come inside and have some with me."

Olivia knew she had a meeting to attend, but she was never able to turn down freshly baked cookies. Once the older woman explained everything to Serena and she had her permission, Olivia was inside the house eating chocolate chip cookies and playing with Scruffy.

"Sweetheart, we have to go," Serena told Olivia. "You're already late."

"Bye, Mrs. Miller. Bye, Scruffy. Thank you for the cookies," Olivia said as she prepared to leave.

"If you ever need a baby-sitter for this little girl, Scruffy and I would love to have her over," Mrs. Miller told Serena.

"Oh, don't tell me that," Serena teased. "I just might take you up on your offer."

Olivia arrived at her meeting an hour late, but Serena told the assistant troop leader what had happened and the assistant troop leader told Mrs. Cabot, the girls' troop leader.

"Olivia has a story for all of us," Mrs. Cabot told the girls.

Without hesitation, Olivia got up in front of her troop and told the story of what had happened to her earlier. The girls hung on to her every word and asked her questions about the dog and how she knew what to do in that situation.

"Mommy," Alex said to Mrs. Cabot. "I think Olivia should get a petal for that."

"Yeah!" the other girls said excitedly.

"I think you're right," Mrs. Cabot told the girls. She pulled out a small bag of petal badges from a crate and held up the rose-colored petal.

"Oooh, the rose-colored petal," Alex said, impressed. "I am _dazzled_."

The adults couldn't help but laugh at little Alex's outburst. She was so proud of Olivia and she just couldn't wait to tell her.

"What does the rose-colored petal mean?" Mrs. Cabot asked the girls.

"The rose-colored petal is only given to Daisy Girl Scouts who make the world a better place," Alex said proudly. "Girls like Olivia."

"That's right," Mrs. Cabot told her as she handed Olivia the petal. "Olivia Benson, by helping a lost dog you did your part in making the world a better place."

Olivia tried not to blush as everyone clapped for her. Once the other girls had returned to their Valentine's Day crafts, Alex grabbed Olivia by the hand and led her into the living room.

"You're a hero," Alex said and gave her a hug.

"Thanks," Olivia told her and tried to prolong the hug.

"Can I see your petal?" Alex asked.

"Okay," Olivia said and handed it over.

Alex was in awe as she touched the stitching on the petal. "Olivia?"

"What?"

"You're the nicest and bravest and prettiest girl in the world and I love you so much," Alex said and quickly kissed her on the lips.

Olivia had experienced so much that day. She had candy and punch at school, saved a lost dog, earned a new petal, and received a kiss from Alex. As much as she loved being a hero, she knew no matter what else happened the highlight of her day was that kiss from Alex.


	3. AO Belong Together

******litafan82: **Older Alex, I hope. Not kindergarten Alex. haha. **Nita: **Aww, thank you! :) **Eljh55: **Thank you so much. I'm glad you're enjoying it. **Cmoni: **There's nothing like little AO. I think they would have been the cutest little girls ever. **lachach: **Thank you so much! That really means a lot to me. You always know how to make me smile. :)

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><p><strong>February 14, 1981<strong>

Seven-year-old Olivia was a precocious little girl. As a first grader, she was now separated from the kindergarteners, which gave her a new sense of responsibility as well as a new sense of adventure. First graders were allowed full-access to the 'big kids' playground and Olivia took advantage of these new opportunities. There were more swings, a bigger jungle gym, a taller slide, four-square courts and, Olivia's personal favorite, the monkey bars.

Before winter rolled around, Olivia had already mastered the jungle gym and the monkey bars and she was looking for something else to give her a rush of adrenaline. She had decided to swing on the monkey bars and skip one bar in between, but that proved to be too easy for her. She would have skipped two bars in between, but her little arms weren't long enough for that yet. _Maybe when I'm a fourth grader_, Olivia thought.

Instead, she had her eye on the swings. She had already mastered the art of jumping off of the swing while it was mid-air, but she had yet to master the art of jumping off with her eyes closed.

"Alex!" Olivia said excitedly.

"What?"

"Come on!" She grabbed Alex's hand and hurried her over to the swings.

"Olivia, you're gonna pull my arm off."

"Sorry," Olivia said and slowed down.

"If you wanna play on the swings, just tell me you wanna play on the swings," Alex told her as she started rubbing her arm.

"Sorry," Olivia said and removed Alex's hand. She had no idea why she wanted to do it, but she had the sudden urge to rub Alex's shoulder for her.

"It's okay," Alex insisted. "What are we going to do?"

"Play eyesies closies," Olivia said excitedly.

"What's that?" Alex asked. Her new glasses were slightly big for her so she had to keep pushing them up so they wouldn't slide down her little nose.

"You jump off the swings with your eyes closed," Olivia explained. "It's easy. I saw Corey do it yesterday."

"Olivia, Corey is a fifth grader," Alex pointed out. "He's a big kid. He can do things like that. First graders can't."

"Not other first graders, but _I _can," Olivia told her, not quite sure if she was brave enough to do this or if she just wanted to impress Alex.

Olivia hopped onto the swing and started to move her legs so the swing would go higher.

"I feel like I'm flying, Alex."

"Be careful," Alex said worriedly. "I don't want you to get hurt."

"Nothing can hurt me," Olivia insisted. When the swing was the highest she had ever gotten it, she closed her eyes and started to count to three. On the count of three, she jumped off the swing and missed her landing.

"Olivia!" Alex said and hurried over to where Olivia was now on the ground clutching her knee.

"Ow," Olivia said softly. Her injury was the worst pain she had felt in her entire seven year existence, but there was no way she would let Alex know that. Instead of saying anything else, she scrunched her face and did everything possible to prevent herself from crying.

"Let me see," Alex said and removed Olivia's hand from her knee. Little Alex was horrified when she saw the blood start to pool on the surface of Olivia's knee.

"It's not that bad," Olivia insisted.

"Oh, yes it is!" Alex told her. "Don't move."

Alex was grateful that she had her Hello Kitty purse with her at recess instead of in the classroom where she had planned on leaving it. She opened her purse and pulled out a tiny first aid kit that her mother had given her in case of emergencies.

"This is going to sting," Alex warned her. "You need to think of something pretty."

"I don't want to think of something pretty," Olivia insisted.

"Okay, think of the monster truck show you went to last month."

"Oooh," Olivia said as she closed her eyes. "I love monster trucks."

"They're scary," Alex told her as she poured some peroxide on a cotton ball and prepared to blot Olivia's cut.

"No, they're not," Olivia said excitedly. "There's this one at the show with tires that are twice as big as me!"

"All done," Alex said after she put the Band-Aid on. "You didn't even cry with the peroxide."

"It's because I'm tough," Olivia told her and then became shy. "Well, I'm tough _and _you're good at taking care of me."

Hearing her say that made Alex start to smile. She quickly kissed Olivia's knee and helped her up.

"Do you want to go to the nurse?" Alex asked.

"No," Olivia insisted. "My Alex fixed me up just fine."

"There's something I have to give you when we get to our class," Alex told her. "I made cookies for the whole class, but I made a special one for me and one for you."

When the girls were back in their classroom and enjoying their class party complete with candy, cookies, and punch, Alex pulled out the cookies she had made especially for the two of them. They were chocolate chip cookies about the size of their hands that Alex had decorated. There was one with a pink 'A' for herself and one with a pink 'O' for Olivia.

"It's for the first letter of my name and the first letter of your name," Olivia said and started smiling at her. "I love these."

"Me, too," Alex told her. She grabbed the cookies and arranged them on a paper plate so that hers was first and Olivia's was second.

"Alex plus Olivia equals AO," Olivia said and held Alex's hand under the table.

"AO are two letters that belong together more than any other letters in the alphabet," Alex told her and started blushing. "Just like you and me belong together."


	4. Moments of Glory

******lachach: **Hello Kitty is still rad! haha. And I agree, you can't spell AO with veggies. Even if you could, what child would want to eat that? :D **litafan82: **Thank you for the 'touchdown' suggestion. haha. I just had to find a way to throw it in there. **Sara **and **betterthanbefore: **Thank you so much! Cuteness makes me extremely happy. :)

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><p><strong>February 14, 1982<strong>

Eight-year-old Olivia Benson laced up her cleats and double-checked to make sure all of her softball equipment was in her bag. She had been playing the sport since she was five, but she was still as excited as ever even if this was already her fourth season. She normally wasn't nervous about playing, but today she was extra jittery because Alex was going to watch her play for the first time.

"Mommy, let's go through the list," Olivia said as she handed her mom the checklist she had made before every game.

"_Bat_," Serena read.

"Got it," Olivia said confidently.

"_Glove_."

"Check," Olivia told her when she was finished searching her bag for her glove.

"_Shirt tucked in_."

"Uh oh," Olivia said as she noticed her shirt wasn't tucked in. After quickly tucking it in, she urged her mom to read the next item on the list.

"_Cap_."

Olivia patted the top of her cap-less little head. "My cap! Mommy, where's my cap?"

"It's on your bed, Olivia," Serena told her. She couldn't help smiling as her little girl frantically ran over to her bed and returned with her cap.

"What's next?" Olivia asked once her cap was securely on her head.

"_Hugs from mommy_," Serena read.

"That's the best part of the list," Olivia said and hugged her mom. Serena knew it was only a matter of time before her daughter was a teenager so she cherished all of the hugs and sweet gestures from her little girl. Not all teenage girls hated spending time with their moms, but Serena knew she still shouldn't take Olivia's childhood years for granted just in case.

"There's more on the list, my little all-star," Serena told her after giving Olivia a kiss on the forehead. "Like, picking up Alex, perhaps?"

"Time to pick up Alex!" Olivia said excitedly as she jumped up and down. "Alex! Alex! Alex!"

Within twenty minutes, Olivia was warming up with her team before the game and occasionally glancing at the bleachers to see if Alex was watching her. Knowing that Olivia was looking her way, Alex started waving at her and had her doll wave at her too. For Valentine's Day, Mr. and Mrs. Cabot had bought Alex a new doll that looked like Alex. She had blonde hair, blue eyes, glasses, and the exact same red dress and white shoes that Alex was wearing. Although Olivia didn't like to play with dolls, she liked the way Alex looked with her doll. She knew she was a tomboy and she was proud of herself for excelling in sports, but there was something about Alex's femininity that Olivia was drawn to even at eight-years-old.

As the game went on, Olivia's nervousness increased. She had always tried to do her best, but she wanted to do even _better _now that Alex was in the bleachers. She had struck out the first time at bat and walked the second time, but she had a feeling her third time was going to be different. Olivia was on deck and preparing herself to bat when her teammate hit into a double play and ended the inning. She breathed a sigh of relief now that she had a few more minutes to mentally prepare herself.

That half of the inning went by faster than Olivia had hoped and she soon found herself running into the dugout. She grabbed her bat, put on her batting gloves, and secured her little helmet on her head.

"You can do it, Liv," her coach told her as she went out. The score was tied in the final inning of the game and Olivia felt as if all the pressure was on her. She flashed her coach a nervous, albeit somewhat toothless smile now that her two front teeth were missing.

"Come on, Champ!" her mom shouted out once Olivia was in the batter's box.

Olivia watched the first pitch go by and the umpire called ball one.

"Good eye, Livvy. Wait for your pitch, sweetheart," Serena shouted, well aware that she had officially become a typical softball mom.

"Touchdown!" Alex shouted and Olivia gave her a confused look as the first strike breezed right past her.

_Alex, Alex_, Olivia thought as she shook her head.

The next pitch was right in Olivia's strike zone and little Olivia swung her bat with all of the strength she had. Her bat made contact with the ball and sent it flying past the left-fielder. Olivia took off running and had every intention of stopping at second when the ball was overthrown and in the outfield yet again. The moment she saw that the ball was still in play, Olivia took off running past second and rounded third base. She knew it would be risky, but Olivia felt as if she had to be the hero so she headed towards home. It wasn't necessary to slide, but Olivia was disappointed that her uniform wasn't dirty yet so she slid head-first into home plate and barely missed being tagged.

"That's my girl!" she heard her mom brag to some of the other moms in the bleachers.

Olivia was given high-fives from all of her teammates and, when the game was over, her coach had her stand up in front of everyone during their post-game huddle. All of her teammates and their parents were watching as Olivia was handed the game ball, the very one she hit into the outfield.

"Thank you!" Olivia said excitedly and gave her coach a hug.

When everyone left, Olivia ran over to her mom and showed off the game ball. "Look!" she said. "It has a black scuff mark from where my bat hit it."

"We need to buy a display case for this," Serena told her. "We'll put it with all of your trophies and medals."

"No," Olivia said and shook her head. "I have a better idea." Olivia turned to the girl of her dreams and handed her the ball. It was her first moment of glory and she was grateful that Alex was there to share it with her.

"For me?" Alex asked in awe.

"I want you to have it," Olivia told her once her mom was busy talking to the other parents.

"But, Olivia, you should keep it to remind you how good you did today."

"You're the reason I did good," Olivia assured her. "I've never hit a homerun until today. I think that means you're my good luck charm."

"I have an idea," Alex said. She gingerly sat her doll down as she looked for a pen in her purse. Once she found one, she handed the ball and a pen to Olivia.

"What's this for?" Olivia asked.

"I want you to sign it," Alex informed her. "When you're in the Olympics, I'm going to tell everyone that I have an official game ball signed by Olivia Benson, the greatest softball player in the whole world and the girl I'm going to marry when I'm all grown up."


	5. What Alex and Olivia Will NEVER Do

******A/N: Thanks so much for all of the reviews. I really appreciate your feedback. Their childhood is almost over and we will soon be approaching the awkward pre-teen years. Uh oh! :)**

**February 14, 1983**

Nine-year-old Olivia tidied up her room as quickly as she could even though she had just cleaned it the day before. Her Hot Wheels racing track was disassembled even though it had taken her nearly an hour to put it together. Olivia loved her Hot Wheels track, but she knew she couldn't have anything on the ground because she was going to need space to play with Alex and Alex never wanted to play with Hot Wheels. Alex liked playing with Barbies and tea sets, neither or which interested Olivia. She was given a Barbie for Christmas when she was six, but she never took it out of the box. Instead, Olivia loved playing with Hot Wheels, G.I. Joe, and her Tonka trucks. Her personal favorite was the yellow dump truck that she'd take outside so she could transfer rocks from one section of her backyard to another. Most parents would have been worried about her lack of interest in 'girl' toys, but her mom didn't care. What mattered to Serena was that her daughter was able to grow into the young woman she wanted to be and define femininity by her own terms.

When the doorbell rang, Olivia ran as fast as she could to answer it and nearly tripped in the process.

"Alex!" Olivia said excitedly and pulled her in for a hug. "Come in! Come in!"

"Thank you for letting her spend the night," Mr. Cabot told Serena. "We were going to leave her at her grandma's but she insisted on staying with Olivia."

"It's no problem," Serena insisted. "Alex is a pleasure to have over and she keeps Olivia busy."

"Be a good girl," Mr. Cabot told Alex. "I'll pick you up tomorrow after school and I'll call you as soon as the baby is born."

"Okay," Alex said glumly. "Bye, Daddy."

Once Mr. Cabot left, Alex sat on the couch and started moping.

"What's wrong, Alex?" Olivia asked.

"I don't want a new baby in the house," Alex told her. "Mommy is going to have a boy. I don't want a brother. I want a sister. They already have his name picked out. Mommy and Daddy are going to name him Jared and he's going to be the favorite because he's a boy and everyone likes boys more than they like girls. I want to runaway and never go back there."

"Let's runaway together!" Olivia said excitedly.

"Where?" Alex asked. "It's so cold outside and we're not allowed to cross the street unless we're with an adult."

"Hmm," Olivia said and began contemplating a good place for them to runaway to. "How about if we pretend my room is our own house?"

"Okay," Alex responded. Olivia picked up Alex's overnight bag and the two of them walked over to her room. Now that her room was doubling as a house and rendezvous point, she was glad she had decided to give it a thorough cleaning.

"Alex?" Olivia asked as they were cuddling up to each other on her bed.

"What?"

"You're wrong," Olivia began. "Not everyone likes boys more than they like girls. I like playing with boys, but I don't like them as much as I like you."

"I don't like anyone as much as I like you, Olivia," Alex said and gave Olivia a kiss on the cheek.

"Boys are fun to play with, though," Olivia told Alex for lack of anything better to say. Her heart was still racing from that kiss on the cheek.

"No, they aren't," Alex said with a disgusted look on her face. "Boys are so gross! They get dirty and they don't like to play tea party or play with dolls or anything fun."

"I don't like playing those things either," Olivia pointed out.

"Yeah, but you're…different," Alex said hesitantly. "You're so pretty and I like looking at you."

"I like looking at you, too," Olivia told her and a little giggle managed to escape her mouth.

"I think I like you, Olivia."

"I know that," Olivia said matter-of-factly. "If you hated me, we wouldn't be friends."

"No, Olivia. I _like _like you."

"Oh," Olivia responded and averted her eyes. "I _like _like you, too, Alex."

"Good."

"What happens now?" Olivia asked nervously.

"I think we're supposed to kiss," Alex informed her. "Like they do in movies."

"Okay," Olivia agreed and quickly sat up. "Except, I have a problem. I don't know how to kiss."

"It's easy!" Alex said and sat up so she could face her. "You just close your eyes and press your lips to mine."

"Should we do it now?" Olivia asked.

"We'll do it on the count of three," Alex instructed her. "One…"

"Two…" Olivia said, her voice starting to shake.

"Three," they said in unison and quickly pressed their lips to each other's. Their kiss lasted less than a second before they pulled away and opened their eyes. Alex and Olivia stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity before one of them finally had the nerve to say anything.

"How was it?" Alex asked.

"Okay," Olivia said hesitantly. "It wasn't like in the movies."

"I know," Alex said, disappointed. "But it wasn't gross. Maybe we just aren't ready."

"We can kiss each other again when we're grown ups and married.," Olivia informed her. "What else do married people do?"

"They have sex, silly," Alex said and started giggling.

"Like in that movie we saw on cable when your mommy and daddy thought we were asleep?" Olivia asked. "They were touching each other and they weren't wearing any clothes. That's so yucky!"

"I know!" Alex told her and made a scrunched-up face. "When we're married, we're never going to do that. "

"Never," Olivia agreed. "As long as I live, I _never ever _want to do anything like that."


	6. First Crushes

**A/N: Hey, everyone! I hope you enjoy this chapter. Fifth and Sixth grade have me completely stumped, so any suggestions that you have for those two years will be greatly appreciated. Oh, and I will credit you if I use your suggestion. :)**

**February 14, 1984**

Ten-year-old Olivia Benson sat down at the top of the jungle gym with her new best friend Abbie Carmichael. Abbie had just moved to their quiet suburb from Texas and she was having a hard time fitting in. The girls in their class weren't particularly fond of her because she was loud and bossy, but Olivia thought she was a breath of fresh air. Olivia had never gotten along with any girls other than Alex so she was thrilled when Abbie moved just two houses down from her and invited Olivia over to play something Alex could never fathom playing. They pretended they were stuntwomen and they spent that entire afternoon jumping over homemade ramps on their rollerskates and riding their bicycles with no hands, anything for a thrill. When Olivia introduced Abbie to Alex, Alex tried her hardest to like her, but she couldn't help being jealous. Alex would always be whom Olivia considered her '_best _best friend' and she didn't see what was so wrong about having another best friend.

"Olivia, truth or dare?" Abbie asked.

"Dare," Olivia responded, assuming her dare would require her to do something silly like swing upside down on the jungle gym or say a swear word in class.

"Okay," Abbie said and became lost in thought, trying so hard to pick the right dare for Olivia. "I dare you to…kiss a boy on the lips."

"Eww!" Olivia said with a disgusted look on her face. "No way! Boys mouths have so many cooties."

"You're such a baby, Olivia," Abbie teased. "I'll do it."

"Then do it," Olivia urged. "I dare you to kiss…hmm…I dare you to kiss Trent."

"Trent Abernathy? No way!" Abbie told her. "He's such a...such a _goon_. I hate him. Besides, he's still mad at me for putting a thumbtack on his chair. I swear, Olivia, that was the best day of my life, especially because I didn't even get in trouble for it."

"It's too bad you think he's a goon," Olivia said playfully. "I heard him tell Joseph that you were pretty."

"He thinks I'm pretty?" Abbie asked with a huge smile on her face.

"Yeah," Olivia reassured her. "He said you were pretty, but then he called you a giraffe."

"That _bastard_!" Abbie said angrily. "He's the one who started that nickname. Just wait until I get a hold of him."

At ten-years-old, Abbie was already 5' 2" tall, taller than any other kid in school except for Trent who had not more than an inch or two on her. Her grandma had told her it was a good thing because she could be a model someday, but Abbie and Olivia had no idea why anyone would just want to stand around and have people take pictures of them for a living.

Olivia was relieved when the bell rang and it was time to return to class. They were going to be working on art projects and Alex had volunteered to stay in for recess so she could help their teacher set up. As much as she thought it was cute that Alex volunteered to help, she missed her terribly at recess.

When Olivia walked into class, she saw glue, construction paper, paint, popsicle sticks, and glitter distributed on the tables. They were going to be making Valentine's Day gifts and Olivia was becoming worried about Abbie being around paint. Red paint and Abbie were two things that never went well together.

"It looks beautiful," Olivia said and smiled at Alex.

"Thank you," Alex told her. "I'm going to make a Valentine just for you because I want you to be my Valentine."

"I'll always be your Valentine," Olivia told a now blushing Alex.

"You guys are going to kiss," Abbie said and made kissy faces at them.

"Shut up," Alex said, embarrassed.

"You two are ridiculous," Abbie said and rolled her eyes.

The three girls sat down to work on their art projects until they noticed they were missing a cup of red paint.

"Don't worry," Abbie told them. "I'll go get some."

"And more glitter," Alex told her. "We're already out of glitter."

Alex and Olivia watched as Abbie picked up a cup of red paint from the counter. They both felt uneasy when she winked at them and took the long way back to their table, the long way which just happened to lead her past Trent's table. As she approached his chair, she pretended to trip and red paint and glitter went flying all over his clothes.

"Clumsy me," Abbie said as she smiled. "I guess _giraffe's _have wobbly legs."

"You did that on purpose!" Trent yelled loud enough for the entire class to hear.

"Abigail!" Mrs. Johnson said. "Did you do that on purpose?"

"No, ma'am," Abbie said innocently. "I tripped over Trent's backpack on the way to my table."

Abbie was a known trouble-maker, but there was something about her Texas accent that always charmed adults and prevented her from getting punished. It was a gift and her peers hated her for it.

"Are you sure, Abigail?" Mrs. Johnson asked.

"Yes, ma'am," Abbie reassured her. "If I'm lying, may the good Lord strike me down." She kept two of her fingers crossed behind her back so it wouldn't count as a lie. Those were the rules of the playground and she hoped they were God's rules, too.

Abbie got off with no more than a warning and, as Trent was about to leave so he could pick up a change of clothes that his mom had brought, he mouthed the word 'bitch' to Abbie and she stuck out her tongue at him in return.

"She did that on purpose," Olivia said once they were in Alex's room after school.

"I know," Alex told her and started laughing. "I think those two have crushes on each other and that's why they act like that."

"Yeah," Olivia agreed. "Do you have a crush on anyone?"

"Fourth grade is so _weird_," Alex said in an attempt at avoiding the question. "Everyone has crushes on everyone. I miss third grade. Things were easy then."

"I know," Olivia said glumly.

"Don't be so sad, Olivia," Alex said and placed her hand on top of hers. That simple gesture made Olivia smile uncontrollably.

"I'm not sad…anymore," Olivia told her.

"Olivia?"

"Yeah?"

"I have a crush on someone," Alex said nervously. "I mean, I have a crush on _you_."

"I have a crush on you, too, Alex," Olivia confessed.

"But this isn't like preschool or even third grade. This is fourth grade now. This is the real deal," Alex told her.

"So," Olivia paused. "What now? Are we a couple?"

"I don't think so," Alex told her. "I can't date until junior high."

"Me, neither," Olivia said. "Maybe we should just hold hands. That's what people do when they have crushes on each other."

"Good idea," Alex said nervously as she laced her fingers with Olivia's. Although they had kissed last year, Olivia felt as if everything was different now. She was ten-years-old, an adult in her own eyes, and she was counting the days until Alex could be her girlfriend.


	7. Olivia Gets Bold

**February 14, 1985**

Much to Olivia's chagrin, Valentine's Day was changing. She was eleven-years-old, in the fifth grade, and there were no more class parties with cookies and punch and no more Valentine's Day art projects. There were no more hearts made out of construction paper and decorated with glitter and no more girls in Mary Jane shoes and pigtails with pink hair ribbons. Instead, there was the annual fifth and sixth grade Valentine's dance, which was held in the multi-purpose room.

The dance was all her classmates could talk about and, as soon as February approached, the boys had started asking their girl of choice to be their date. Out of their little trio, Abbie was the only one who had been asked. She had wanted to go because she had been asked by Trent, but she refused to go unless her two best friends were also attending. Olivia had wanted to ask Alex to be her date and she tried on many occasions, but every time she tried she either lost her nerve or felt as if the moment wasn't right. Her palms would get sweaty, her voice would shake, or she would forget her words and when she was _finally _able to keep her cool someone or something would always spoil the moment for her.

Instead, Olivia did what she thought was the next best thing: she asked Alex to go to the movies with her. Once Abbie found out about her plan, she immediately called Trent and said she accepted his invitation to the dance. She still wasn't too thrilled about going without them, but she was glad that Olivia had made some kind of attempt at asking Alex out. Olivia had gone to the movies countless times with Alex, so she knew it wouldn't be as nerve-wrecking as going to the dance with her. _This isn't a date_, she told herself. _Alex and I are just going to the movies like we always do._

When Olivia was dropped off at the movie theater, she saw that Alex was already waiting for her. Any confidence that she had was gone once she saw Alex. Instead of wearing the clothes she had worn to school that day, Alex had changed into jeans and a baby blue sweater that was hanging off one of her shoulders. Her hair was teased—or at least she had _attempted _to tease it—and she was wearing a new lip gloss. Olivia wondered what that lip gloss tasted like and she hoped she would find out by the end of the night.

"Hi," Olivia said nervously when she approached Alex.

"Hi," Alex said awkwardly once she realized Olivia was still wearing the same pair of jeans and softball sweatshirt that she had worn to school. "I'm sorry if I overdressed."

"No, you look…beautiful," Olivia responded, still unable to take her eyes off of Alex.

"I do?" Alex asked and Olivia could sense the slightest bit of surprise in Alex's voice..

"Yeah," she reassured her. "You look like a sophisticated woman of at least 13—like a seventh grader…not a fifth grader. I look like a five-year-old."

"Not even," Alex insisted. "I like the way you look in your softball sweatshirt."

"Thanks," Olivia said nervously and averted her eyes. "Wh—What do you want to see?"

"How about _Ghoulies_?" Alex asked excitedly. "Andy said it's cool and there's this actress in there—her name is Mariska Hargitay. She is _so _sexy."

"_What_?" Olivia asked in shock. "We are _not _seeing that. You're going to be drooling over her and I'm going to be jealous."

"But she looks like you, Olivia," Alex pointed out. "So much like you that it's actually kind of eerie."

"Still, she's—what—a college girl?" Olivia asked. "I'm a fifth grader. I can't compete with her for your heart. I'd never win."

"Okay," Alex sighed. "What do _you _want to see?"

"_Blood Cult_!" Olivia said excitedly. "It's about a serial killer who—"

"No," Alex insisted. "No serial killers. Those movies are too scary."

"That's the point, Alex. It's fun to be scared. Plus, I heard this movie was banned in two states!"

"Oh, fun," Alex said sarcastically.

"How about if I hold you the whole time?" Olivia asked nervously. She had no idea where that boldness came from and it started to scare the hell out of her.

"Okay," Alex responded. "But only if you hold me."

The movie had more violence than Alex had hoped for, but she thought it was cute how Olivia's eyes were nearly glued to the screen. Not once did she flinch even though some of the older, _high school _girls were afraid. During one particularly bloody scene, Olivia noticed Alex cover her eyes.

"Are you okay?" she asked.

"No," Alex whispered. "This is so scary."

"Don't worry," Olivia responded. "I'll tell you when the scary part is over."

She had no idea what had come over her, but somehow she was brave enough to wrap her arms around Alex who, in turn, buried her face in Olivia's shoulder. Her heart started racing when Alex placed her hand on the back of Olivia's neck and started to gently play with her hair.

"I had a really good time," Alex said once they were waiting for their moms to pick them up.

"Me, too," Olivia told her.

"I just don't think I'll be able to sleep tonight."

"Next time, we'll see whatever you want to see," Olivia promised. "Even if it's a girly movie."

"Olivia?"

"Yeah?"

Alex looked around nervously before quickly and awkwardly giving Olivia a kiss on the cheek. Her cheek now had a sticky lip gloss print on it, but Olivia didn't care. In fact, she considered that kiss to be the highlight of her entire eleven-year existence. It was the kind of thing she had only seen in movies and, if this is what dating was going to be like, Olivia couldn't wait to be a seventh grader so she could go on dates with Alex all the time.


	8. The Worst Day Of Olivia's Life

******A/N: I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Thanks for all of the reviews and an extra special thank you to CherryCorday for suggesting that the girls go to a school dance on Valentine's Day. :)**

**February 14, 1986**

Twelve-year-old Olivia Benson stood in front of the mirror in the girls' bathroom and examined her appearance. She had gone through so many changes over the past few months and she began to wonder when or _if _she would ever grow into her changing body. She looked at the way her skirt looked on her new curves. Granted, her hips were nowhere near womanly, but she was no longer as straight-legged as she had been and all of her clothes were fitting her differently. As she looked herself up and down, she noticed that her bra strap was showing. She quickly moved it so it was hidden under the collar of her blouse, but something still didn't look right to her. She absolutely hated her training bra, but she knew she could no longer get away with not wearing one. She may not have been as well-endowed as some of the other girls in her class, but the size of her chest got her plenty of unwanted attention from boys.

One of the biggest changes about Olivia was her wardrobe. She no longer wore oversized sweatshirts and boys' clothes everyday. She was becoming a teenager and she wanted her wardrobe to make her feel like one. Olivia's mother nearly cried when she had to go bra shopping with her daughter for the first time and when Olivia took everything out of her closet and said she wanted 'teenager' clothes instead. Remembering what it was like to be twelve-years-old and wanting to fit in, Serena took Olivia shopping for a whole new wardrobe at the trendy stores junior high and high school girls shopped at. The sales associate helped Olivia pick out skirts, sweaters, bangle bracelets, slimmer jeans, blouses, and hair accessories. Serena thought her daughter looked beautiful, but Olivia still felt awkward and somewhat like a little girl trapped in a woman's body.

As she continued to look at herself, her best friend Abbie emerged from the bathroom stall in her Valentine's Dance attire. She was wearing an oversized red sweater, black leggings, a red headband, and chunky heart earrings. On her feet were red pumps that she walked in flawlessly. The outfit wasn't particularly glamorous, but Olivia was jealous of the way Abbie could wear anything she wanted and still look as if she belonged in the fashion section of _Seventeen _magazine.

"What the hell are you doing?" Abbie asked as she applied coat after coat of her Bonne Bell Lip Smacker.

"I hate this bra," Olivia told her, her hands still repeatedly fixing her strap.

"Why?" Abbie asked. "Wearing a bra means you have boobs. You're lucky."

"I don't want them," Olivia said glumly. "They get in the way when I play softball."

"No, they don't!" Abbie told her.

"Okay, they don't, but still. I wish we could trade bodies."

"You don't want my body," Abbie said glumly. "I'm so skinny. What if I never look like a woman and stay this skinny my whole life? What if I stay flat my whole life too?"

"Abbie, you're perfect," Olivia said, trying to console her.

"No, I'm not. Look at this," Abbie said and quickly flashed her chest to Olivia. "I have nothing there. They aren't even the size of mosquito bites yet. They're completely flat. What if they never grow, Olivia?"

"Abbie, they're going to grow," Olivia reassured her.

"Yeah, I guess you're right," Abbie said hopefully. "Do you think boobs are like plants? Like if I water them and sing to them, they'll start growing?"

"Abbie," Olivia groaned.

"Okay, okay. I'll stop. But I know something you don 't know," Abbie said and started giggling.

"What?" Olivia asked. "Tell me. Tell me."

"I saw Alex checking you out today," Abbie whispered into Olivia's ear. "She tried looking down your shirt."

"She did?" Olivia asked with a huge smile on her face.

"Yeah," Abbie said excitedly. "I think she wants your tongue in her mouth."

Olivia became lost in a fantasy of tongue-kissing Alex until she realized she didn't know how to tongue-kiss or even kiss with her mouth closed.

"Alex is cute, isn't she?" Olivia asked with a dreamy expression on her face.

"Really cute," Abbie agreed.

"She's so cute, Abbie. I want her to be my first."

"Your first?"

"My first real kiss on the lips," Olivia told her. "Kissing Alex is all I think about these days."

"Then kiss her," Abbie insisted. "What's stopping you?"

"I'm so nervous," Olivia admitted.

"Don't be. You already know Alex has a crush on you. Just ask her to the dance."

"The dance that's in thirty minutes?" Olivia asked. "That dance?"

"Yes! That dance! You know she's going, just ask her to go with you instead of going alone."

"Are you going with Trent?" Olivia asked in an attempt at changing the subject.

"No way," Abbie said with a disgusted look on her face. "Trent's really cute and we had fun last year, but this isn't fifth grade anymore. We're sixth graders now and being a sixth grader comes with expectations. If I go to the dance with Trent, then he'll expect me to be his girlfriend and if I'm his girlfriend I'll have to kiss him and then I'll have to have sex with him and then I'll have to marry him and then I'll have to have babies with him and buy a house and the whole thing is just way too much pressure."

"Abbie?"

"Yeah?"

"I think I'm ready to ask Alex."

"Oh my gosh! Oh my gosh!" Abbie said excitedly. "She's doing her homework in the quad right now. Hurry up and ask her before you get nervous. Good luck."

Alex was exactly where Abbie had said she'd be. Olivia tried not to be nervous because she knew she would start making excuses so she wouldn't have to ask Alex. As Alex looked worked on her history homework, all Olivia could do was think about kissing her. She could have went up to her and kissed her right then and there, but Olivia knew that would be wrong. She wanted it to be romantic and memorable.

"Alex," Olivia said nervously.

"Hey, Liv. What's up?"

"Are you going to the dance?"

"Of course," Alex told her. "We're sixth graders. I mean, might as well."

"It's starts in twenty minutes."

"I know," Alex said nonchalantly. "Liv, what's this about?"

"Well, I'm going to the dance and you're going to the dance, so why don't we go together."

"Like a date?" Alex asked.

"Yeah, a date," Olivia said, finally feeling relieved. She had done the unthinkable and it was now over with.

"Liv, I can't," Alex told her. "I'm really sorry."

"Sorry?" Olivia asked. "Wait, why can't you?"

"Casey Novak asked me this morning and I said yes."

"Casey Novak, the fifth grader?"

"Yeah, I'm really sorry, Liv. She's just really cute and I couldn't resist."

"Let me get this straight. You're going with a _fifth _grader?"

"Yes, Liv," Alex said. "Can we drop this now? I have a huge crush on Casey. I kind of have a crush on you, too, but I didn't think you were going to ask me. She gave me a flower and everything."

"But she's a _fifth _grader," Olivia repeated. "How can you go with a fifth grader when you're my girl?"

"Can we talk about this some other time? I'm supposed to meet her in five minutes."

"Yeah," Olivia said. She bit her lip to prevent herself from crying, but it didn't work. Instead of saying goodbye to Alex, she took off running back to Abbie. She explained everything to Abbie who, in turn, gave Olivia the obligatory speech about Alex not being good enough and there are plenty of beautiful girls in the world who love to be her girlfriend.

When Abbie and Olivia walked into the multipurpose room, they saw pink and red streamers that led to a disco ball that was hanging from the ceiling. There were paper hearts and bits of confetti everywhere they looked. The overall cheesiness of the décor made Olivia want to puke. As a twelve-year-old she thought it was all so romantic and she kept telling herself that there was no point in romance if she wasn't with Alex.

Olivia glanced over to the other side of the room and saw Alex laughing and talking with Casey. _It means nothing_, Olivia thought. _She's only with Casey because I didn't ask her soon enough. _That thought quickly escaped her when she saw Alex touch Casey's hand. Never in her life had Olivia felt so betrayed. For the past seven years, Alex had been her Valentine and Olivia wasn't ready for that to change.

"Dance with me," Abbie ordered to get Olivia's mind off of Alex.

"Don't you want to slow dance with Trent instead?" Olivia asked.

"You're my best friend. I'd much rather be with you than any boy."

Abbie led Olivia to the dance floor and the two of them awkwardly danced to a Cyndi Lauper song. It wasn't exactly the experience she had hoped for, but she was grateful that Abbie was being such a great friend to her. When the song ended, a group of the popular boys started pointing and laughing at Olivia. _What the heck? _Olivia thought. _Am I that bad of a dancer?_

"Liv, what's going on?" Abbie asked.

"I don't know," Olivia said frantically. "Why are they laughing?"

"Olivia," one of their classmates whispered in her ear. "There's a big red stain on the back of your skirt."

"Oh no," Olivia said and ran out of there. It was the moment she had been dreading ever since her mom had given her the talk about becoming a young woman. _This is just what I need,_ Olivia thought. _Alex is with Casey and I start my period on the same day._

"Abbie, my life is over," Olivia said as she cried into her shoulder. "I can't face these people again. All they're going to talk about tomorrow is how I started my period at the dance."

"Maybe not," Abbie said with a mischievous look on her face.

"What are you doing?" Olivia asked as Abbie took her sweater off and handed it to Olivia.

"Here, put this on. I'll wear your blouse. My sweater will cover your stain."

Before leading Olivia back into the multipurpose room, Abbie stripped down to her panties and an undershirt.

"Abbie, what are you doing?"

"Stealing your thunder," Abbie said and started smiling. The moment they returned, Abbie started running around and flailing her arms. All eyes were on her, which is exactly what she wanted. The girls were gasping and whispering among themselves while the boys were all whistling and making catcalls. Olivia's embarrassing moment was now old news and everyone was already talking about Abbie. The whole streaking incident lasted less than thirty seconds, but it was enough to leave a lasting impression on all the fifth and sixth graders.

"Abigail Carmichael," Mrs. Williams, the principal, yelled once she had cornered Abbie outside of the multipurpose room. "I want you to go home right now and you are hereby suspended until next week."

"Yes, ma'am," Abbie said. She tried to look scared, but Olivia knew Abbie felt like laughing.

"Abbie, I love you," Olivia said as they started walking home. "You're the best friend I ever had. I can't believe you'd do something like that for me."

"No prob," Abbie said casually. "I'm just glad it got everyone's mind off of your bleeding vagina."

"Instead of today being the day I bled through my skirt, it'll be known as the day Abbie Carmichael stripped down to her underwear and ran around in front of everyone."

"I think that makes me a legend at North Fallbrook Elementary," Abbie said excitedly. "How am I ever going to top this? I'll just have to think of something better in junior high."

"Like running around naked," Olivia teased.

"Liv?"

"What's up?"

"Trent Abernathy saw me in my underwear today," Abbie realized. "He's going to worship me now."

"Eww, gross," Olivia told her. "I wish Alex would worship me, though."

"She'll come around," Abbie reassured her.

The girls parted ways when Olivia reached her house and, although, Olivia wanted to run into her room and fall asleep until her bleeding stopped, she knew she had to tell her mom eventually.

"Olivia, sweetheart, what's wrong?" Serena asked. Instead of responding, Olivia ran to her room so she could grab a change of underwear and one of the pads her mom had bought for her. She felt like she was wearing a diaper and it dawned on her that she was going to be experiencing this every month. The whole ordeal was so depressing that Olivia put her pajamas on and mentally prepared herself for the talk she was going to have with her mom.

"I'm having the worst day of my life, Mommy" Olivia said as she cuddled up to her mom on the couch. She knew she had just taken another step toward becoming a woman, but Olivia wanted to forget all about that and be her mom's little girl for awhile longer.


	9. Not Quite '80s Women

**February 14, 1987**

The weather was cold outside, but Olivia paid no attention to the goosebumps that were forming on her arms and legs. She had decided to wear a pink mini skirt and a white tube top with pink heels. She had spent over an hour on her hair and makeup before she felt as if she looked just right. Her mom would have told her that she was dressed way too provocatively for a 7th grader so Olivia tried to look as conservative as she could until her mom left for work.

When she arrived at school, all eyes were on her, but she didn't give anyone a second glance. She hurried over to her locker so she could check her lipstick in the mirror. Her make-up was still in tact, but Olivia knew there was no such thing as being too careful.

"Are you ready?" Abbie asked Olivia as she had her arms around her boy toy of the week.

"For what?" Joey asked.

"Nothing, cutie," Abbie said and gave him a hug. "It's girl stuff."

"See you in class?" he asked.

"Yeah," Abbie responded. Before sending him on his way, she handed him her science book and gave him a kiss on the cheek. "See ya in a few."

"How do you do that?" Olivia asked.

"Do what?" Abbie responded. Before Olivia could get another word in, some guy walked by and handed her a Valentine card.

"How many does that make today?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know," Abbie said nonchalantly. "I have one from Joey, one from Billy, one from Josh, and from Dan, and…"

"And what?"

"One from Trent Abernathy," Abbie said and started blushing. "I can't believe he actually noticed me."

"Why wouldn't he? You're gorgeous."

"I know," Abbie teased. "Do you think I should lose my virginity to him? Not now because I'm only in 7th grade, but later? No, what if I get pregnant with Trent's baby. That would be so cute."

"Abigail?"

"What?"

"Please stop talking. I thought you were into girls."

"I'm into both," Abbie informed her. "I'm a true '80s woman. I can do whatever I want."

"I wish I could do whatever I want," Olivia told her. "If I could, I'd have Alex in my arms."

"And in your bed," Abbie teased. "In your bed with no clothes."

"I don't think about her like that," Olivia insisted even though it was a lie.

"Livya, it's okay," Abbie told her. "I know you like Alex for her intelligence and who she is on the inside, but you also want her in other ways. You tell me that you always think about Alex at night and I know the reason you think about her at night is because that's when people have sex and you want to have sex with Alex."

"Okay, I do," Olivia admitted. "But not now. I want to wait until we're both emotionally and physically ready for it. I want Alex to be my first and I want it to be special."

"Oh, blah, blah, blah," Abbie said and rolled her eyes.

"First I'm going to tell her that I like her and then I'm going to ask her to be my girlfriend," Olivia said. "By the end of the school day, Alex will be my girlfriend. But what if she says no? I don't know what I'd do if she rejected me."

"She's not going to reject you, Olivia. Stop talking yourself out of this."

When Alex approached them, Abbie and Olivia tried their hardest to act as if they had nothing planned. Abbie began leaning against her locker, but Olivia had no idea what to do. She wanted to look cool, but not cocky. She wanted to look pretty, but not as if she had tried too hard. Instead, she began nervously playing with her dangling, heart-shaped earrings.

"Liv, is that you?" Alex asked with a confused look on her face. "You look so different. Do you have a date tonight?"

"No!" Olivia said as quickly as she could. "I mean, nah, nothing like that. I'm just…in the spirit of Valentine's Day."

While leaning against the locker, Abbie shook her head and tried her hardest not to laugh. _Dead puppies. Think of dead puppies,_ she kept telling herself in hopes that it would counteract the potential laughing fit.

"Either way, you look great," Alex said and smiled at her.

"Thanks," Olivia squeaked.

"Did your voice just squeak?" Alex asked.

"No," Olivia said hesitantly, sounding more like she was asking a question instead of responding.

"Olivia, what's wrong? Are you feeling okay?" Alex asked and touched her hand. That simple gesture made Olivia's heart race and her whole body started to tingle.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Olivia said even though she was blushing.

"Just making sure," Alex said and smiled at her. "I have to get to class, I'll see you two at lunch."

"Wait! Alex!" Olivia shouted as Alex turned around to leave. "I have to ask you something."

"Sure," Alex said and waited for Olivia's question.

"Will you…I really…"

"Will I what?" Alex asked hopefully.

"Will you let me borrow your math notes?" Olivia asked. She had taken the safe way out, but she felt like hitting herself afterward.

"Of course," Alex said and handed Olivia the notes she had taken out of her binder.

"Oh, that was smooth," Abbie said once Alex had left.

"Shut up," Olivia told her and started hitting her head against her locker.

"You wanted to ask for her heart, but you got her math notes instead," Abbie teased.

"Oh, yeah? Well, I'd like to see you do better, Abbie."

"I could do better," Abbie insisted.

"If you're such a hot shot, ask Trent out on a date," Olivia smirked.

"I can't ask Trent," Abbie said worriedly. "He's a boy and I'm a girl. It's different with Alex because you're both girls. Girls can't ask boys on dates. That's like social suicide. Boys have to ask girls. Everyone knows that."

"I thought you were a true '80s woman," Olivia said sarcastically. "A true '80s woman would go against the rules and ask out her leading man."

"Maybe the '80s are a little too cutting edge for me," Abbie realized. "I'm going to revert back to the '50s and wait for Trent to take me to a Sock Hop. I'll get to wear his football jacket and we'll share a milkshake at the diner afterward. Olivia?"

"Yeah?"

"This whole dating thing sucks," Abbie said glumly.

"I know and where's a bully when you need one?" Olivia asked. "Unless, do you think I could stuff _myself _into this locker?"

"Olivia!"

"Just make sure to get me after school," Olivia said as she tried unsuccessfully to stuff herself into her own locker.

"There's always next year," Abbie told Olivia in an attempt to cheer up her best friend.

"You're right," Olivia said and stepped out of her locker. "I'll ask her next year and if not next year then the year after that or the year after that."

Abbie started shaking her head again. "At this rate, Alex won't be yours until you're 30."

"Or 29," Olivia said as they started walking to class. "As long as she's mine by the time I'm 29."


	10. Someone Else's Girl

**February 14, 1988**

Fourteen-year-old Olivia Benson sat down in the backseat of her mom's car next to her best friend Abbie. They were on their way to Alex's house to work on their group history project and, although, she usually looked forward to spending time at Alex's house, this time she was dreading it. There would be no flirting with Alex, no Valentine's cards, and no kisses on the cheek because, for the first time, the girl of Olivia's dreams was taken. It had been three and a half months since Casey had asked Alex to be her girlfriend and Olivia had considered that night to be the worst night of her life.

It was the first Halloween that they weren't going to go trick-or-treating or wear costumes, so Alex, Abbie, and Olivia decided to have a sleepover at Alex's house instead. Mrs. Cabot had taken Alex to the video store to rent some scary movies and then to the grocery store to buy snacks for them. Olivia was thrilled about the sleepover until she showed up at Alex's house and saw Casey sitting next to her on the couch—in Olivia's spot. There were three cushions on the couch and the girls always sat in the same spots every time they watched a movie at Alex's house. Alex sat on the right cushion, Olivia sat in the middle, and Abbie sat on the left, but not that time—that time Casey messed up their routine.

"Liv, I'm sorry," Alex said after she pulled Olivia aside. "I know the sleepover is supposed to be the three of us, so she's not spending the night. She's just going to watch _Texas Chain Saw Massacre _with us and then her dad is going to pick her up. I promise."

"But, Alex," Olivia began. "You know how I feel."

"Please, Olivia," Alex practically begged. "She's so cute and I have a huge crush on her and I'm hoping she likes me, too."

"Oh," Olivia said, hesitantly. "Yeah, that's fine." She had felt like someone knocked the wind out of her and, although she wished she could call her mom and ask her to pick her up, she didn't want Alex to know how upset she was.

"Thanks so much," Alex said and gave her a hug. "You're the best."

When the movie began, Alex covered her eyes and buried her face in Casey's shoulder. When a violent scene would end, Casey would make it appoint to whisper in Alex's ear and Alex would smile and face the screen again. More than once, Olivia caught them holding hands and giving each other kisses on the cheek. She hated the way Alex was acting and she wasn't sure if it was because Alex had seen _Texas Chain Saw Massacre _over ten times and she was suddenly acting like she was scared or because three years ago she was the one with Alex's head on her shoulder and she was the one receiving Alex's kiss on the cheek.

As soon as the movie ended, Alex and Casey went up to Alex's room so they could get Casey's jacket. Mr. Novak was already on his way and Casey didn't want to keep him waiting. While they were up there, Alex let out a squeal, which Olivia knew was a bad sign because they were going to hear all about something Casey had told her even if they had no interest in hearing it.

When Casey was gone, Alex stood up in front of her friends and made the announcement Olivia dreaded: Casey had asked her to be her girlfriend and she had said yes. At that moment, Olivia knew her fate had been sealed and she would no longer have _any _chance with Alex, which is why she was so upset to see Casey on Valentine's Day.

It was like Halloween all over again. Alex hadn't warned them about Casey being there but she insisted that it would only be for a little while. That 'little while' was always too long for Olivia and she wished Casey wouldn't have been there altogether.

Abbie and Olivia shared the reclining seat while Alex and Casey sat close to each other on the couch. They tried distracting themselves with random videos on MTV, but Alex and Casey's constant kissing and sweet talking made Abbie and Olivia want to close their eyes and cover their ears. Better yet, they wished they could just go home and be as far away from the two lovebirds as possible.

"You're so pretty," Alex told Casey.

"No, _you're _pretty," Casey responded.

"No way, you're the pretty one."

"No, you are," Casey insisted. That little argument turned into a five-minute kiss fest, which then turned into one of their obnoxious conversations.

"Casey, you're the best girlfriend in the world," Alex said to a now blushing Casey.

"I was just going to say that about you," Casey said excitedly. "Alex, we think the same! That means we're perfect for each other."

"I was just going to say that!" Alex told Casey before giving her another kiss.

"Abbie, I'm about to throw up," Olivia said sarcastically.

"No way!" Abbie said. "I was just going to throw up, too. That means we're perfect for each other, Liv."

"You're so pretty, Abbie," Olivia said in a mocking tone.

"No, you're pretty," Abbie responded.

"This is so boring," Olivia told her. "I wish we were at my house right now, playing Duck Hunt or doing anything else but this."

"Okay, you guys," Alex said, frustrated. "I'm sorry, Case. My friends are assholes."

"No prob," Casey told Alex and kissed her one last time. "I think I just heard my dad honking."

"Bye, Most Beautiful Girl In the World," Alex said and gave her a goodbye hug.

"Bye, Most Perfect Girlfriend In the World," Casey responded.

"Alex, get me a spoon," Abbie said once Casey was gone.

"Why?" Alex asked.

"So you can gag me with it," Abbie said sarcastically.

"Yeah, that was so gross, Alex," Olivia added.

"That's not gross," Alex said defensively. "That's what love is like. You two will learn all about it when you have girlfriends—if you two _ever _have girlfriends."

"One thing is for sure, when I have a girlfriend, I'm still going to be normal," Abbie pointed out. "We're not going to be kissing all the time or saying stupid things. We're going to be cool."

Alex's last statement kept replaying in Olivia's head until she just couldn't take it anymore. "You've become a real creep, Alex."

"Excuse me?" Alex asked, completely shocked.

"Yeah, you're a real bitch now," Abbie told her. "You used to be cool."

"I'm still cool," Alex insisted.

"No, you're not," Olivia told her angrily. "You're so bogus, Alex."

"I'm not bogus, Olivia."

"Yes, you are," Olivia said, frustrated. "We can never do anything without Casey being around. I liked it better when it was just the three of us. We had a good thing going. I was the tough one, Abbie was the funny one, and you were the smart one. What the hell is Casey? She's nothing. There's no cool groups of four, Alex! There are only _three _stooges! There are only _three _musketeers! And Charlie only had _three _angels!"

"And there's only three amigos," Abbie whispered to Olivia.

"And there's only _three _amigos!" Olivia repeated as she held up three fingers.

"There's only three members in the Supremes," Abbie told her.

"That's right!" Olivia agreed. "All of the '60s girl groups—all of the good ones, anyway—only had three members."

"The Shirelles had four," Alex pointed out. "And they're better than the Supremes."

"You think the Shirelles are better than the Supremes?" Olivia asked in total shock. "What is _wrong _with you, Alex? Now I _know _you're crazy!"

"Olivia, you've lost it," Alex told her. "Just accept that I have a girlfriend and you don't. There's no need to be jealous."

"Jealous?" Olivia asked angrily. "Jealous?"

"Too far," Abbie told Alex. "Too far."

With that being said, Olivia stormed out of Alex's house and Abbie had no choice but to chase her. Their project was due in a week, but there was no way Abbie was going to make Olivia work on it that day after what they had just experienced with Alex. As soon as she caught up with Olivia, she wrapped her arms around her best friend and tried her best to comfort her.

"Wanna go to Foster's?" Abbie asked. "It's only a few blocks away and ice cream might do us some good."

"Okay," Olivia said hesitantly. It was 40 degrees outside but she was in no mood to turn down ice cream.

"Abbie?"

"Yeah?"

"Why is she such a jerk?" Olivia asked as they were walking.

"I don't know," Abbie shrugged. "I guess that's what happens to people when they're in relationships."

"Do you want a girlfriend?" Olivia asked.

"Maybe when I'm older," Abbie told her. "I'm in no hurry."

"I still want Alex to be my girlfriend," Olivia confessed.

"Can I tell you something?" Abbie asked nervously.

"You're my best friend, Abbie. You can tell me anything."

"Sometimes the one who you're meant to be with is right in front of you."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Olivia asked. She had waited for an answer, but instead Abbie leaned in and kissed Olivia on the lips. The kiss was quick and both girls were too much in shock to realize what had just happened.

"What the hell did I just do?" Abbie asked.

"I don't know," Olivia responded. "But that was my first real kiss."

"Yeah, same here," Abbie said and averted her eyes. "But let's not get weird about it."

"No, never," Olivia agreed. "Happy Valentine's Day, jerk."

Abbie couldn't help but laugh at their awkwardness. "You, too, creep."


	11. High School Hell

******A/N: This is when the story starts to become rated T. Let's face it, they're in high school now and their hormones are raging. haha. But on a serious note, thank you so much for the fic love! :)**

**February 14, 1989**

When fifteen-year-old Olivia arrived at school that morning, she was far from ready to experience her first Valentine's Day as a high school student. Unlike junior high, almost everyone was coupled up and their gifts to each other were more extravagant. Instead of cards and letters, girls were walking around with oversized stuffed animals and bouquets of flowers and balloons that their boyfriends had given them. Instead of excitement over first kisses, Olivia overheard girls talking about how romantic it would be to lose their virginity to their boyfriends on Valentine's Day. It was all too much for her and she wished she could go back to elementary school or even junior high—anywhere but North Fallbrook High, where everyone's hormones were raging including Alex's.

"I'm seeing Casey tonight," Alex said excitedly as the girls were standing near their lockers. "My parents aren't going to be home and they have no idea she's coming over."

"So?" Abbie asked.

"So, she said she's going to slip me the tongue tonight," Alex bragged. "And…"

"And what?" Abbie asked.

"And I'm going to try to get to second base—under her shirt _and _under her bra," Alex said to her two best friends. "I'm telling you girls—having a girlfriend is _awesome_."

"Bullshit!" Olivia said angrily. "I bet she won't even slip you the tongue. Stop trying to make yourself out to be a big shot, Alex."

"Yeah, Lex," Abbie told her. "Stop bragging about something you know won't happen. Casey isn't like that—not like her best friend Serena. Serena does it. She goes all the way."

"How do you know?" Olivia asked.

Abbie smirked. "I can see it in her eyes. That girl lets you get it in."

"And _you _want to get it in?" Olivia asked.

"Yes," Abbie said and pressed her forehead against her locker door. "Yes, yes, for the love of all that is good in the world, yes! I would give _anything _to get in there. She's so hot!"

Olivia wrinkled her face in disgust. "Gross. Am I the only one here who _doesn't _think about sex 24/7?"

"Yeah," Alex told her. "And stop acting like you're above us because of it."

"Olivia Benson aka the Virgin Queen," Abbie teased.

"There's nothing wrong with that," Olivia insisted. "I'm saving myself and I'm not ashamed to admit that I'm a virgin and I'll stay one until I'm ready."

"Saving yourself for what?" Alex asked sarcastically. "A fairy tale?"

"No," Olivia said defensively. "I'm saving myself for the right girl. Sex is a big deal, Alex, a really big deal. I'm not going to sleep with just anybody. I want to wait until I have a girlfriend and we're comfortable enough and we love each other enough to experience something so special together."

"Well, I've already found the right girl," Alex said as she grabbed her geometry book. "I have to get to class. See you girls at lunch."

Olivia spent the rest of the school day trying to avoid Alex—even it if meant skipping lunch and ditching one of the classes they had together. She was still in love with Alex and hearing her talk about Casey and knowing what Alex and Casey were going to do that night was enough to break Olivia's heart all over again. She wanted to be the girl kissing Alex, the girl spending Valentine's Day with Alex and, although she hated to admit it, the girl who Alex got to second base with.

Olivia tried to be calm and collected until she arrived at home. That's when she slammed her backpack on the ground and cried into a pillow on the couch. She hoped she was home alone, but she remembered that her mom taught a morning class and didn't have office hours that day. Olivia knew it was only a matter of time before her mom came into the living room and asked her what was bothering her. She usually loved talking to her mom, but not about this subject. Olivia had grown up around her mom's gay and lesbian friends, but she still wasn't sure how her mom would handle her own daughter being a lesbian. Olivia knew it wasn't something most parents would wish for their children, but Olivia hoped her mom was different.

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Serena asked as she sat down next to her daughter.

"Nothing," Olivia mumbled into the pillow.

"If you're crying, it has to be _something_," Serena said and held her crying fifteen-year-old.

"Mom, do you promise to love me no matter what?"

"Olivia," Serena said and looked into her eyes. "Nothing and I mean _nothing_ could make me stop loving you. You're my daughter and the best thing that's ever happened to me."

"I don't think you'll feel that way after I tell you this."

"Tell me what, Liv?"

Olivia wiped her tears on her sleeve and tried to think of the right thing to say to her mom. She had rehearsed this repeatedly for a year, but she knew there was no way she would get the words right so she decided to lose herself in the moment. "Mom, I like girls."

"Liv?"

"Yes?" Olivia asked. She was relieved when her mom started smiling at her and hugging her even tighter.

"Sweetheart, I know."

"You know?" Olivia asked. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I've known you were gay since you were four, Liv," Serena began. "The reason I didn't tell you is because I didn't know if you were aware of it and I didn't want to confuse you or make you question yourself. Sexuality is confusing no matter if you're gay or straight or bisexual and I wanted you to come to me with any of your questions instead of me telling you what you are. It's something you have to discover for yourself Olivia and it seems like you have."

"So, you're okay with it? You're not going to tell me I'm disgusting or disown me?"

"Olivia Lorraine Benson, why would I do that?" Serena asked.

"I don't know. I was just afraid. It wasn't easy for me to tell you this."

"You're fifteen and you're growing up," Serena told her. "It's normal for you to be afraid and confused, but I want you to feel as if you can let me in. I know you have a lot of feelings right now and things are changing for you, which is why I want to help you, Liv."

"Mom?"

"Yes?"

"I'm in love with Alex, but she doesn't see me that way. She has a girlfriend and all they do is make-out. I suppose I should be happy for her, but I'm not. I want Alex to be my girl. I want that more than anything I've ever wanted. I love her so much, Mom. I think about her every night and not sex things, you know? I think about holding her and kissing her and writing her love letters and taking her to the movies like we used to do. Why doesn't she like me, Mom? Is something wrong with me? Am I _that _ugly?"

"Olivia!"

"I'm serious, Mom," Olivia said as she started crying again. "Am I too ugly for Alex? That's it, isn't it? I hate the way I look. Why can't I be gorgeous?"

"Have you looked at yourself lately?" Serena asked.

"Yes and that's why I'm saying I'm ugly," Olivia insisted. "If I was pretty, Alex would be mine."

"Olivia Benson, you are beautiful and I'm not just saying that because I'm your mom. Not only are you beautiful, but you're smart and funny and a sweet girl. Any girl would be lucky to have you—not that I want _anyone _to take my baby from me."

"If any girl would be lucky to have me, why won't Alex have me?"

"I have a feeling the two of you will be together someday," Serena told her. "Maybe not tomorrow or the next day, but eventually she'll be your girl."

"Really?" Olivia asked, finally feeling hopeful.

"Yes," Serena insisted. "I see the way she looks at you and the way you look at her. It's an intense look that I rarely even see on adult couples and, to be honest, it scares the hell out of me. I don't want my little girl falling in love so soon. I want you to keep playing sports and video games for the rest of your life."

"I can play sports and video games _and _still like girls," Olivia said. "Most importantly, I can do all three of those and still be your little girl. I'll always be your little girl, Mom, even when I'm all grown up and married to Alex."


	12. Happy Juice

**February 14, 1990**

Turning sixteen had been a big deal for Olivia. She didn't have a Sweet Sixteen party or get a car like most of the other sophomore girls at her school, but she did have a list of goals that she had made during her freshman year and she had already accomplished them by her second year of high school. She had earned a spot on the varsity softball team, made the honor roll, and learned to drive. Everything was starting to look up for Olivia, except where her love life was concerned. She was still in love with Alex and Alex was _still _making out with Casey any chance she was given. Now that Casey went to the same high school as they did, Alex was with her everyday at lunch and Casey was on the same softball team as Olivia. While they were in the locker room, Casey would brag about her sexual exploits with Alex even though the two of them hadn't done anything other than kissing. There was no getting to second base like Alex had hoped or giving each other little love bites. Olivia had nothing against Casey; in fact, she liked the freshman. Casey had no idea Olivia was in love with Alex and there was no way Olivia was going to tell her for fear of putting Casey in an awkward position when it wasn't her fault that Olivia didn't ask Alex out in the seventh grade.

Mr. and Mrs. Cabot weren't going to be home that night and Casey was grounded so Alex had decided to invite Abbie and Olivia over to her house for a Valentine's Day get together. Olivia was hesitant about going, but once Alex had reassured her that Casey wasn't going to be there, she was all for going. After school, Alex drove her two best friends to her house in the red 1985 Mercedes that her parents had given her for Christmas.

When they arrived at Alex's house, the girls played video games for an hour until Abbie had what she considered to be the most brilliant idea of her life.

"Your parents' liquor cabinet is open!" Abbie said excitedly.

"So?" Alex asked.

"They left a liquor cabinet open with three unattended teenage girls? That must mean they _want _us to drink," Abbie pointed out.

"It'd be stupid if we did," Alex told her.

"No, it'd be stupid if we _didn't_," Abbie corrected. "Liv?"

"I'm in," Olivia said nervously. She had never had any type of alcohol before, but she figured trying some with Alex and Abbie at Alex's house would be better than trying some at a party where something bad could happen to her.

"Fine," Alex said reluctantly. "Let's do this."

"Alright!" Abbie said and high-fived her two best friends. "We have vodka, tequila, rum, and gin. Take your pick."

"None, please," Alex insisted.

"Do any of you know how to make any drinks?" Abbie asked.

"I know how to make Long Island Iced Teas!" Olivia said excitedly. "I've never made one myself, but my Aunt Olivia makes them all the time."

"What is it?" Alex asked.

"A mixture of all of this stuff," Olivia said. "And tea."

"Long Island Iced Tea isn't exactly tea," Abbie told her. "I think they use something else instead. I heard it was cola and some syrup."

"Umm…yes, it _is_ tea," Olivia argued. "Otherwise, it wouldn't be called Long Island Iced Tea, would it?"

"I guess," Alex said reluctantly. "We have a little bit of Nestea in a two-liter bottle."

"Awesome!" Olivia said excitedly. "You two just sit back and I'll be the bartender."

Olivia grabbed three large glasses from the cupboard and started to mix the drinks. She filled a fourth of the glass with rum, a fourth with vodka, a fourth with tequila, and a fourth with gin. There really wasn't room for the tea, but she splashed a tiny bit on top and stirred the drink. She took a sip from hers and wanted to spit it out, but there was no way she was going to be the wimp out of the three of them. She was grateful that she had taken that sip while she was in the kitchen because it gave her a preview of what she was in for.

After all three girls had their drinks, they gave each other nervous glances and debated who should take the first sip.

"You two are such babies, I'll take the first sip," Olivia said, trying to be brave. What her friends didn't know is that she had already had that practice sip in the kitchen. When she drank it without so much as a flinch, Alex and Abbie were impressed.

"So, there's nothing to it?" Abbie asked.

"It's just like drinking tea," Olivia lied.

"Eww!" Abbie said as she spit out her drink. "This tastes like the seventh circle of hell!"

"Maybe it's an acquired taste," Alex suggested. "Just keep drinking."

The girls chugged half of their drinks in less than five minutes, hoping the faster they drank the more they would actually like their drinks.

"Liv, these are great," Alex said and clinked her glass with Abbie's.

"Aren't they?" Olivia asked as she laid her head on Alex's lap. Without realizing it, she spilled some of her drink on Alex's leg. "I'm so sorry, Alex. I'll get a napkin."

"You can just lick it off me," Alex suggested.

"Alex, you're such a perv," Abbie teased. "And I know Liv wants to lick every inch of you."

"I do _not_," Olivia said and started blushing. "Okay, I do, but Alex has a girlfriend."

"You do?" Alex asked. "It's okay if you do. I want you to. I mean, I want you, too—also. Wait. What? What's going on?"

"Alex, are you okay?" Abbie asked.

"Yeah," Alex responded.

"No, not like okay okay, are you _okay_?"

Alex started giggling. "Oh, like am I horny?"

"Abbie, how is 'okay' a euphemism for that?" Olivia asked.

"I don't know," Abbie responded. "But answer the question, Lex."

"Am I horny?" Alex repeated. "Every moment of every day. I know I said having a girlfriend is awesome, but not when your girlfriend is a tease. She always wears these low-cut tops around me because she knows I'm looking and she knows what I want. Then we start making out—like _really _making out—and then she says she wants to stop, but we stop before I can even get to second base. It's been two and a half years and I still haven't felt her up. I respect her so I stop and I don't say anything about it. I don't whine about it, at least not to her, but she always leaves me at the point where I get some but not enough. Maybe she does it on purpose. She makes it so I always think about sex, especially sex with _her_. That's her plan, isn't it? She has me right where she wants me because she knows I'll do absolutely anything if it means I could possibly get some."

"That's why you shouldn't date a freshman," Abbie told her. "They're teases, except for Serena."

"We know, we know," Olivia said, annoyed. "You always mention that she puts out, not that it matters, Abbie. She's single and she's always looking at you. Take the hint."

"Fuck, she looks at me?" Abbie asked. "Then why hasn't she made her move? I know she's already had sex with lots of girls. Why hasn't she tried anything with me?"

"Maybe she thinks you're the one," Olivia said dreamily. "And if you think a girl is the one you don't just make a move on her like that. It has to be special and romantic."

"Speaking of making a move," Abbie began. "I overheard Jenny talking about you in the locker room today."

"Jenny Jacobson? You did?" Olivia asked, intrigued. "What did she say? Tell me. Tell me."

"She was talking to Becky Albers and while she was saying this she was only wearing a bra and her cheerleading skirt, which only adds to everything she was saying. Anyway, she said, 'Bex, you know that girl, Olivia?' and then Becky was like 'Benson? Yeah, she's in my history class and my English class' and then she said other classes but I wasn't paying attention and then Jenny was like 'Yeah, that's her. Olivia is like so hot. I know I saw her last year and in junior high, but she looks different and she's like so hot now, like really hot. I wanna go down on her. Do you think she'd let me?' and then Becky was like, 'I dunno know, Jenny. Liv isn't the type of girl you can just have sex with.' And then Jenny was like, 'I'd never just have sex with her. She's like cute, too, you know? I think I'd want her to be my first girlfriend.' And then Becky was like 'Then ask her out.' And Jenny was like, 'I can't. I'm so bad at this. What if she says no?' And then she started going on and on about how hot you are and then the bell rang so she put on her sweater and left. By the way, she has a _very _nice rack, Liv."

"She's Jenny Jacobson," Olivia pointed out. "She has a nice everything. You have to be joking with me, though."

"It's the truth," Abbie insisted.

"But she's Jenny," Olivia repeated. "She's a junior. She's on the varsity cheer squad and she looks like she could be in _Playboy_. Jenny is so perfect."

"Liv, you're blushing," Abbie said, which only made Olivia blush even more.

"I can't help it," Olivia told her. "Jenny Jacobson having a crush on you is like Cindy Crawford having a crush on you or Michelle Pfeiffer having a crush on you. It's like what do you do when that happens? It's all so perfect. Do you think I could ask her out?"

"Why would you want to be Jenny's girlfriend?" Alex asked. "She's such a bitch."

"No, she's not!" Olivia said defensively. "You're just jealous, Alex, because you're sexually frustrated and I'm going to be the first to lose my virginity. To top it off, I'm losing it to Jenny, the most perfect girl in the world."

"You won't be so thrilled about it when your doctor says you have syphilis or Chlamydia or something like that," Alex said angrily. "Jenny is so gross. She has sex with everyone."

"Everyone, but you," Olivia snapped back. "Face it, Alex. Jenny is hot and you're just—what does she call you—Four Eyes."

"Bitch!" Alex said angrily, trying her hardest to keep from slapping Olivia. Maybe it was the drinks or the fact that she was still in love with Alex, but Olivia had no idea what just came over her.

"Alex, I'm sorry," Olivia said and gave her a hug. "I know how much you hate that name and I shouldn't have called you that."

"It's okay," Alex said as she returned the hug. "I love you, Olivia."

"I love you, too, Alex."

"And I love both of y'all," Abbie said, joining their hug.

"And I love you too, Abbie," Alex told her.

"Yeah, me too," Olivia added. "I love both of you."

"And I love Oreos," Abbie announced. "Lots of Oreos. Alex, do you have any?"

"I think so," Alex said as she got up. The moment she took a step forward, her legs became wobbly and she fell down on the carpet. The girls wanted to see if she was okay, but judging by her uncontrollable laughter, they knew it was just the alcohol.

"You klutz," Abbie teased, but Alex was still laughing.

"Whoa…whoa," Alex finally managed to say. "Is it me or is there a lot of gravity in here?"

"She's cut off," Abbie told Olivia. "No more drinks for Alex."

"No!" Alex said as she grabbed her drink and started to chug it. "This thing makes me so happy. Let's play a game. I know—let's play tag."

"Okay!" Olivia said excitedly, but she sat right back down the moment she tried to stand up. "We'll play in five minutes. I think the room is spinning. Which one of you is spinning the room? Stop it!"

"Liv, you're the best bartender in the world," Abbie told her. "These drinks are great. We should do this everyday. No, two times a day."

"Three times," Alex said as she attempted to do a cartwheel. She began laughing hysterically when she fell yet again.

Abbie turned the radio on loud enough for the girls not to hear anything happening around them. Alex was about to jump from one couch to the next when the door opened and her parents walked into the living room.

"Mommy! Daddy!" Alex said as she tried to make her way over to them. "Have you tried this happy juice? It makes you forget all about trig and honors classes and just be happy. I don't care about being valedictorian or going to Harvard. Fuck Harvard. Yeah, I said it. I'm happy for once in my life and I want to hug the world, starting with Abbie and Olivia."

Olivia started shaking her head. She and Abbie were drunk, but it wasn't _obvious_, unlike Alex who had finished her entire drink and a few sips of theirs.

"We're really sorry," Olivia tried to explain. "It won't happen again. This is all my fault. I'm the one who made the drinks. Alex and Abbie had nothing to do with it."

"I am _so _horny right now," Alex said, frustrated. "Liv, wanna go upstairs and make a woman out of me?"

"What did you just say?" Mrs. Cabot asked angrily.

"I'm out of here," Mr. Cabot told them. "Once my little girl says that word, it's my cue to leave."

"I _said_," Alex repeated. "I want Olivia to make a woman out of me. Please, Liv. Let's go upstairs. You're so hot. Abbie, you're hot, too. Wanna join us? I can do things to you while Liv does things to me and then we can both do things to Liv at the same time, whatever she wants us to do."

"Alexandra!" Mrs. Cabot said angrily. "Not another word out of you for the rest of the evening."

"Word, word, word, word," Alex began. "I said it four times."

"You're grounded for the rest of the school year," Mrs. Cabot told her.

After hearing that, Alex finally stopped talking. Olivia's mom picked up the two of them and gave them a lecture on the dangers of alcohol, but Abbie and Olivia were too drunk to pay attention. Olivia wasn't grounded because Serena thought her hangover and the fact that she was throwing up the entire night was punishment enough. As she laid on the couch the next morning, she tried to decide whether she had the _best _or _worst _Valentine's Day of her life.


	13. Olivia's First Girlfriend

**February 14, 1991**

Olivia had spent almost her entire adolescence wishing she had a girlfriend, but never did she imagine her first girlfriend would be Jenny, the most popular girl in school. Jenny was a senior, captain of the varsity cheerleading squad, and the Class of 1991's vote for Most Desirable Girl. She could have had any guy or girl she wanted and she chose Olivia. Olivia felt like she was on cloud nine when Jenny asked her out. There was no romance involved and she didn't ask her in a special way, but Olivia felt as if she didn't have to. Jenny Jacobson had asked her out and Olivia felt as if that alone was a privilege.

Jenny and Olivia were practically inseparable, much to Alex's chagrin. What made matters worse for her is that they were always kissing and sneaking off for a quickie in the locker room or under the bleachers. Olivia was having sex almost every day and Alex had yet to make it to second base with Casey. Olivia knew that Alex was envious of her, but that was because she didn't know everything about her relationship with Jenny. All Alex knew was what Olivia wanted her to know.

She bragged about having sex with Jenny, but that was only to make Alex jealous. Just hours after she lost her virginity, she called Abbie and Alex and told them about it. They asked the expected questions: was going down on a girl gross, what did Jenny's body feel like, was it the greatest thing she had ever experienced, did she have an orgasm? Olivia excitedly answered all of their questions, but she really felt like crying. Losing her virginity wasn't what she had thought it would be. She expected a romantic evening filled with gentle caresses and tender moments, but what she really experienced was the total opposite. She wanted to lose her virginity to Jenny, just not at that moment. Olivia felt as if Jenny had forced her to have sex before she was ready. One night when they were making out, Jenny started undressing Olivia and every time Olivia said no or tried to stop her, Jenny would tell Olivia that she loved her and if Olivia loved her too then she would have sex with her. Although she wasn't ready, she gave in for fear of losing her girlfriend.

Having sex for the first time was painful for Olivia and she had no idea that it was possible to bleed. Instead of comforting her, Jenny was upset with Olivia for bleeding on her new sheets. Her mom had a feeling that Olivia had sex with Jenny, but Olivia felt so dirty and ashamed of herself that she didn't want to tell her mom even if it meant her mom could help her. She had always imagined losing her virginity to Alex, but now that the moment had passed, she decided to give up on ever making Alex her girl.

A couple of months after she lost her virginity, Olivia had a talk with Jenny about sex and Jenny apologized for what had happened. The apology was hardly sincere, but Olivia forgave her regardless. Their relationship had improved since then and Olivia had no idea whether it was because of her talk or because sex no longer hurt Olivia and she was no longer holding back.

"I hope you guys don't mind that I invited Jenny," Olivia said as they sat down at a booth at Sticky's, their favorite restaurant.

"Why would you do such a thing?" Alex asked.

"Because she's my girlfriend and it's Valentine's Day," Olivia pointed out. "It's not my fault Casey can't be here. She could have put you first and finished her science project sooner. Jenny has cheer practice and she's leaving early to be with me."

"Cheer practice," Alex scoffed. "What does she have to do while she's there? It's not like cheerleading is getting her anywhere. Although shaking her ass in public is great practice for her future career as a stripper."

"Jenny has the best moves," Olivia bragged. "And she uses them all on me. She gives me lap dances whenever I want."

"Baby," Jenny said as she stood next to their table. "Are you telling your friends what we do?"

"No," Olivia told her even though they both knew it was a lie.

"I don't care," Jenny insisted. "I just want my girl satisfied. You're so hot, Olivia. I can't wait to get you alone."

"You're not getting her alone," Alex pointed out. "She's playing Metroid with us after this."

"Oh, Four Eyes, I forgot you were even here," Jenny said to Alex even though she was looking at Olivia. "You're kind of just a backdrop, nothing worth paying attention to."

"Baby, don't say that to Alex," Olivia told Jenny, but Jenny wasn't paying attention. She started kissing Olivia and whispering things in her ear.

"Lex, you want to play some video games?" Abbie asked.

"Yeah," Alex said meekly. Abbie knew Alex hated being around Jenny, so she had to suggest _something_ to do before Alex started crying in front of everyone.

"I'm sorry," Olivia mouthed to Alex as she left, but Alex wasn't paying attention to her anymore.

"I hate your loser friends," Jenny told Olivia once Alex and Abbie were out of sight. "I mean, Abbie is okay, but Four Eyes is a total loser. We all make fun of her because she's so _weird_. Don't you think she's weird?"

"She's my best friend," Olivia argued. "I don't think she's weird. I think she's—"

"Whatever," Jenny said and rolled her eyes at Olivia. "Let's get out of here. I want you all to myself."

After saying goodbye to her friends, Olivia got into the front seat of Jenny's car and headed over to her girlfriend's house. Unlike the other times they had sex, Jenny went above and beyond trying to create the perfect setting for Olivia. She lit candles all over the bathroom and ran a bath for the two of them. Olivia leaned against Jenny and Jenny wrapped her arms around Olivia's waist.

"Do you know why I asked you to be my girlfriend?" Jenny asked.

"Because you like me," Olivia teased.

"Not just that," Jenny said and kissed her on the cheek. "Every time I see you, my heart starts racing and all I want to do is be alone with you. I can't keep my hands off of you, Olivia. I've never felt like that about a girl before. Usually, they're the ones after me, but asking you out was the first time I'd ever put myself in the position where I could be rejected."

"I wouldn't have rejected you, Jenny. I had a crush on you long before you asked me out."

"I love you so much, Olivia."

"I love you, too."

"Be with me after graduation?" Jenny asked as she slipped her class ring on Olivia's finger. Olivia turned around so she could start kissing her girlfriend. A ring, yet another thing her girlfriend had given her that Alex's girlfriend hadn't.

"Of course I will," Olivia said in between kisses. "Jenny, I don't want you to leave for college in the fall."

"Baby, I'll be at Hudson. That's not far from here," Jenny told her as she looked into Olivia's eyes. "Plus, I'll be in the dorms. You can spend the night with me anytime you want."

"I'd love that so much, babe."

"And I'm still going to come back to see every one of your games," Jenny promised. "You know how much I love watching you play. There's something about the way your body moves. It's like playing that sport is something you're meant to do. Everyone looks at you when you play because they know you're so good and I just want to tell them all that you're my girlfriend and I'm so proud of you."

"I'm going to show you some moves right now," Olivia said as she started nibbling on Jenny's neck.

Three hours later, Jenny offered to drive Olivia home, but Olivia felt like walking. She lived a mile away from Jenny's house, but she had no intention of going home. She lovingly kissed her girlfriend, got out of bed, and put her clothes back on.

"Bye, baby," Olivia said and gave her another kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too—so much."

"I love you more," Olivia told her.

After leaving Jenny's house, Olivia headed straight to Alex's. While she was walking over there, she wasn't sure if her intentions were to brag or to apologize for what Jenny had told her.

"Lex," Olivia said and pulled her in for a hug. "Can we go up to your room?"

When they sat down on Alex's bed, Olivia noticed that Alex was crying.

"You smell like Jenny's perfume," Alex pointed out as she cried into Olivia's shoulder.

"She's my girlfriend, Alex, and I do things with her, so it's only normal that I do smell like her perfume."

"Did you have sex with her?" Alex asked.

"I didn't come here to talk about that," Olivia told her. "I came here to apologize for what Jenny said."

"I don't care what she says to me," Alex admitted. "I care about what she does to you."

"She only does good things to me," Olivia said, trying to spare Alex the details.

"So, you did have sex with her?"

"Alex, she's my girlfriend and it's Valentine's Day. Of course I had sex with her. You have a girlfriend, too, Alex. I'm sure you and Casey are going to have sex with each other someday soon."

"I don't care," Alex said sadly. "I hate Jenny so much, Olivia. More than you'll ever know. And now I see that ring on your finger. It's like she owns you. She hurt you the first time the two of you had sex and she didn't even care. I would have cared, Liv. I shouldn't be feeling this way because I have a girlfriend and I love her, but I love you, too. I should have been the one you lost your virginity to. I would have held you afterward. I would have kissed you. I would have done anything to make you feel as if what you gave me was so special because it _is _special, Olivia. It's something you shouldn't have given to Jenny. You should have asked me out in the seventh grade and then it would have been something we gave each other."

"You could have asked me out, too, Alex," Olivia told her. "Why did it have to be me?"

"I think you should leave now, Olivia."

"Okay," Olivia told her, not wanting to argue with her best friend.

Olivia walked home as fast as she could. The whole time, she thought about Alex and she thought about Jenny and she wondered when or _if _her life was ever going to be uncomplicated.


	14. Olivia's New Girlfriend

**Delectable Sweetness: **Aww, thank you. **Stacey: **Uh oh I think I must have forgotten that little conversation detail when switching between this story and the This Is The Year timeline. I'm really sorry. **litafan82: **yay! It's AO time now! :) **maxin: **I'm glad you like the story! She may have lost it to Jenny, but she will soon have her Alex. :)

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><p><strong>AN: For those of you who have read This Is The Year, you'll probably recognize some of this chapter as part of their Valentine's Day during their senior year of high school. I hate copying and pasting things from my other stories so I promise this is the only time I'll do that. Oh, and our girls are eighteen now. How time flies. It seems like just yesterday they were little preschool girls. By the way, this chapter isn't rated K or T. In fact, it's kind of on the M side, so proceed with caution.**

**February 14, 1992**

The now eighteen-year-old Alex and Olivia had been a couple for a little over a month and they were already experiencing their fair share of relationship problems. Neither had wanted to break the hearts of the girls they were with, but they could no longer deny their feelings for each other. They were falling deeper in love as time went on and it wasn't fair to their girlfriends or to themselves, so they admitted their feelings to each other on New Year's Eve. They had spent thirteen years as friends and they knew there was going to be an adjustment period as they went from hanging out and playing video games with each other to kissing and making love to each other.

Alex and Olivia felt as if their first time together was life-altering. Alex had lost her virginity to Casey three months prior to her first time with Olivia, but she considered her first time with Olivia to be one of the best experiences of her life and she wasn't shy about letting Olivia know that. Before Alex, Olivia never knew sex could be beautiful and passionate and so full of love. What mattered most to Olivia is getting to actually _feel _Alex and see her at her most beautiful, which is why on their first Valentine's Day as a couple, Olivia felt as if there was nothing else she would rather do.

They had just made up from an argument and, luckily, her mom was on a date so they had the house to themselves. Even though it wasn't her first time having sex with Alex, Olivia was extremely nervous about this Valentine's Day with Alex. Ever since she had learned what two girls could do to each other in bed, Olivia had been fantasizing about doing those very things to Alex. She had always wanted to make Alex feel sexy and that's exactly what she had in mind for their Valentine's Day together.

Olivia closed her bedroom door and watched as Alex undressed herself.

"Leave your glasses on," she told her. "They're sexy."

"I don't want you leaving anything on," Alex said as she started undressing Olivia.

Olivia laid down with Alex and started to kiss her. Alex slightly opened her mouth so Olivia could slide her tongue inside. Olivia tried to forget about everything that had happened with their argument while she began to gently rub Alex's clit.

Alex straddled Olivia's waist and Olivia couldn't help but take in the view. Alex was completely naked and reacting to every move of Olivia's fingers. Olivia became even more aroused as Alex started caressing her own breasts. She started moving her hands down her body and made sure that Olivia's gaze was wherever her hands were leading.

"I'm ready," Alex whispered and Olivia slowly entered her. Even though Olivia was gentle, Alex needed time to adjust to being so filled. Olivia and Alex looked at each other for reassurance and Olivia mouthed the words 'I love you' to her. When Alex mouthed the words 'I love you more' Olivia couldn't help but smile.

Alex gave Olivia a quick kiss and slowly started to ride her fingers. Olivia's hand was starting to hurt, but there was no way she was going to stop once she saw how Alex was so rhythmically moving her body and starting to toss her head back. Olivia looked down and noticed that Alex's wetness was coating her hand. She knew it wouldn't be long before Alex reached her breaking point.

With a few strokes of her thumb on Alex's clit, Olivia started to feel Alex's walls tighten around her fingers. Knowing they were home alone, Olivia urged her not to hold back, so Alex started moaning Olivia's name as loudly as she could. Hearing Alex moan turned Olivia on even more.

"Are you wet for me?" Alex asked as she started running her fingers along Olivia's opening.

"Only for you," Olivia told her.

Olivia was gripping the sheets as Alex started to taste her. Alex knew the one movement that always brought Olivia to orgasm, but she wasn't ready for that yet. Tonight she wanted to take her time with Olivia. She slowly maneuvered her tongue along the outside of Olivia's opening and up to her clit. When she reached Olivia's swollen clit, she gently started to run her tongue across it. Olivia felt so many sensations as Alex began entering her with her tongue. Alex was being gentle with her and paying attention to the way her body responded to every lick and every caress. Olivia started to moan as Alex gently sucked on her clit.

"Right there, baby," Olivia told her as she started running her fingers through Alex's hair.

Olivia felt her body quiver as Alex continued sucking on her clit. She knew

Alex wanted her to hold back as long as she could, but Olivia couldn't hold back any longer. She began gripping the sheets as hard as she could while riding out her orgasm. She knew her girlfriend was climaxing, but Alex didn't want to stop tasting Olivia. She felt herself become aroused again when Olivia's wetness started flowing into her mouth. Alex swallowed as much of it as she could before finally making her way back to the pillow.

Olivia started smiling as she wiped her wetness from the sides of Alex's mouth and her chin. "You were amazing," she told her.

"So were you," Alex said and started to kiss Olivia. "Do you want to exchange Valentine's gifts now?"

"I thought we already did," Olivia teased. "Besides, I'm giving you the greatest gift you could ever ask for."

"Oh, and what is that?" Alex asked, mimicking Olivia's tone.

"Me," Olivia said and Alex couldn't help but smile.

"What am I going to do with you, Olivia?"

"Do you want the G-rated answer or the X-rated answer?" Olivia asked.

"Let's stick with G for right now," Alex insisted. "I'm a little X-rated out."

"Fine," Olivia sighed. "I _do _have a gift for you, though."

"What is it?" Alex asked. "Babe, tell me."

"It's in the living room. Wait right here."

"Liv?"

"What's up?"

"I will never get tired of seeing you naked. When we have a place together, I never want you to wear clothes."

"What about when it's cold?"

"There are plenty of things I can do to warm your body up," Alex said and pulled her girlfriend back on the bed with her.

"But your gift?" Olivia asked in between kisses.

"It can wait," Alex insisted. "This is the first Valentine's Day that I get to make love to you. There's no gift in the whole world better than that."

"Alex?"

"Yeah?"

"I've been waiting for this moment since I was five-years-old."

Alex rested her head on Olivia's thighs and started to run her fingertips along the wet patch of dark curls in between Olivia's legs. "Babe, you didn't know what sex was when you were five."

"I know," Olivia responded. "It wasn't sex that I was waiting for. I love having sex with you. I _really _love it and when I say I love it I mean I really _really _love it."

"Babe," Alex said and let out a giggle that only Olivia had ever heard before. "I get what you're trying to say. I love it, too."

"Like I was saying before I was so rudely interrupted," Olivia teased, which made Alex let out that same giggle again. "Like I was saying, I wasn't waiting to have sex. I was waiting for the moment when you would become my girlfriend. I feel like that's all I've ever wanted and now that I have you I'm never going to let you go."

"You never have to, Liv," Alex said softly. "I've always been yours and I'm always going to be yours."


	15. The Next Twenty Years

**A/N: We've reached the final chapter of this little journey that Olivia has been on. Thanks for all of the comments. I enjoyed reading all of them and they really did help. For those of you reading Closer To Fine, I know this chapter is a spoiler, but I think you all knew what was going to happen anyway. Now it's all about getting the Cabenmichael girls to this point.**

**February 14, 2012**

Olivia Benson picked up the photograph that had been sitting on her nightstand, a photograph that had been taken twenty years ago. She began staring at a younger version of herself in a letterman jacket with the number '92' on the sleeve. 1992. It had been twenty years since she had worn that jacket while walking down the halls of North Fallbrook High School, twenty years since her glory days on the softball field and, most importantly, twenty years since she had began dating the girl she was kissing in that picture.

Their lives had changed so much during those twenty years and Olivia was further reminded of that when she heard her fifteen-year-old son calling her from his room.

"Mom, can you help me?" Kurt Benson asked as soon as Olivia walked in his room. He had tried unsuccessfully to tie his tie and he wanted to look perfect when he picked up his girlfriend before their school's Valentine's Day dance. His baby blue oxford shirt was neatly tucked into a new pair of black pants. The only thing preventing him from being ready to leave was that pesky tie.

As Olivia tied his tie, she couldn't believe how fast her cute baby boy had turned into a handsome young man. The high school sophomore was already two inches taller than Olivia and crazy about his girlfriend. Once his tie was tied, Olivia tried fixing his shaggy blonde hair, but he moved her hand away and tousled it until it looked the way he had it before. His blue eyes were exactly like Alex's and Olivia saw more of her in their son with each passing day.

"I think you're ready," Olivia said. She straightened his tie even more to stall for time.

"Do I look okay?" Kurt asked.

"Very handsome," Olivia told him. "Are you nervous?"

"Only a lot," Kurt admitted. "It's my first Valentine's Day with Lily and I think I want to take things to the next level."

His statement made Olivia feel as if she had gotten the wind knocked out of her. She knew her little boy was growing up, but she wasn't ready for him to lose his innocence yet.

"Kurt, we need to have a talk," Olivia said hesitantly.

"About what?" Kurt asked.

"I know you have feelings for Lily and I know you think you're ready to take your relationship to the next level, but sex is—"

"What?" Kurt asked, his eyes widening. "Mom! We already had the sex talk. You know how I feel about Lily and you should know that I respect her _and _myself too much to rush into anything as serious as having sex. When I'm ready, I want Lily to be my first but I'm definitely not going to be ready tonight. I mean, I'm ready, Mom. Physically, I'm ready every moment of every—"

"Kurt!" Olivia interrupted. "I get it. What's the next level then?"

"I'm going to tell her I love her," Kurt said proudly. "Because I do love her. I hope you don't think that's stupid."

"Why would I think that's stupid?" Olivia asked and gave him a hug. "If you really love her, then tell her. The worst thing you can do is not confess your feelings to the girl you love. I was in love with your mom when I was even younger than you."

"Then why didn't she become your girlfriend until you were eighteen?" he asked.

"Because I didn't tell her how I felt. That's why I tell her every morning and night that I love her and that's why, if you really love Lily, you need to tell her."

"Mom?"

"What's up?"

"As much as I love Lily, you and Mommy are still the two most important women in my life," Kurt said and gave his mom a kiss on the cheek. "I love you, Mom. I promise to be back by eleven."

Olivia grabbed her phone from the back pocket of her jeans and snapped a photo of Kurt to send to Alex along with a message that said, "_Our main man._"

Two minutes later, she received a reply from Alex, "_He looks so handsome. I wish I were there with you. Is he nervous?"_

Before she could respond to Alex's message, her son was saying goodbye and her daughter was screaming for her to hurry up because she was having a 'crisis.'

"Sweetheart, what's wrong?" Olivia asked.

"I'm having a crisis, Mom," Courtney said frantically. "My shirt has a stain on it."

"Put it in the hamper and wear another shirt," Olivia said to her eighth grade daughter.

"But this shirt is the one that goes with this skirt," Courtney said.

"Then wear another skirt."

"Mom, you don't get it," Courtney said and rolled her eyes. "It's my first date and it's with _Jessica_. She's a model, Mom! A model! And she's sophisticated and sixteen. I have to look perfect, which means I have to wear something perfect."

"How about this dress?" Olivia asked as she pulled a pink sundress from Courtney's closet.

"Mom, no!" Courtney said and grabbed it from her. "Where's Mommy? I need her. She knows this kind of stuff. She's a girl."

"And I'm not?" Olivia asked as she tried not to laugh.

"You know what I mean," Courtney scoffed. "You don't wear skirts or dresses like Mommy does."

Olivia took a look at her daughter and started to shake her head. Sometimes, she questioned if Courtney had really come from her. The eighth grader was the splitting image of Olivia, but the two of them couldn't have been more different from each other. Courtney was closest to Alex. The two of them went shopping together, got pedicures together, and had little talks in Courtney's room in which Courtney would tell Alex everything that was on her mind. She told her about girls she thought were pretty, hairstyles she liked, and what girls she hated on her cheerleading squad. Olivia was in the dark with Courtney, but she didn't notice too much because most of her time was spent with Kurt. He was her main man and Kurt looked up to his mom. He wanted to follow in her footsteps and become a detective someday. Regardless of what time she came home, Kurt would greet her at the door and ask her about her day. They talked about baseball and music and Olivia had even managed to get him into Nirvana, which was his latest music obsession. Whenever Kurt had a problem or needed advice, he would go to Olivia, just as Courtney would go to Alex.

"How about your jeggings and that pink sweater you bought yesterday?"

"Oh, my pink sweater!" Courtney said excitedly. "I forgot all about that. Can I wear your pink heels? The ones you wore in junior high?"

"You like those?" Olivia asked in disbelief.

"Yeah, they're vintage. How many girls can say they have real heels from the '80s?"

Olivia smiled at her daughter. "They're in the—"

"I know where they are," Courtney said and took off to get the pink heels.

Just as Olivia thought she was going to get a moment of peace, there was a knock on the door of their apartment.

"Hi, Olivia," Sixteen-year-old Jessica said nervously. "I know I'm here to pick up Courtney, but I was hoping you and I could have a woman-to-woman talk about your daughter."

Olivia tried her hardest not to laugh at the girl's newfound maturity. She had seen Jessica Carmichael grow from a newborn to a teenager who was now interested in her daughter and she would have given anything to go back to the days when Jessica had something on her mind other than rounding the bases with Courtney.

"Come in," Olivia said and motioned for Jessica to sit down on the couch in the living room. Jessica gingerly sat down and tried to work up the nerve to talk to Olivia. Jessica was usually a confident girl, but for some reason she was hesitant to speak. Olivia looked as Jessica crossed, uncrossed, and then crossed her legs again. She couldn't help but think about Abbie as a teenager whenever she looked at Jessica. She looked so much like her mother. She had her height and thin build. She even had her nose and trademark dimples. The only features she didn't have were Abbie's dark eyes and dark hair. Instead, she had Trent's green eyes and light brown hair. The girl was beautiful—she had been told so ever since she was born, so it was almost expected for her to take the modeling route. Jessica being a model was something that unnerved Olivia and enticed Courtney. She saw the effects that the modeling business had on teenage girls and she didn't want Abbie's little girl to grow up so fast and make _her _little girl grow up fast along with her.

"You wanted to have a talk?" Olivia reminded her.

"Yes…um…I really like Courtney…and…um…I was wondering, can I…may I…will you let me ask Courtney to be my girlfriend?"

"Jessica?"

"Yes, ma'am?"

"You're asking her to be your girlfriend on the first date?" Olivia asked the nervous teenager.

"It's Courtney!" Jessica pointed out. "How could I wait? She gives me butterflies whenever I see her."

Olivia thought about the butterflies that she still gets every time she sees Alex; she still took her breath away even though 33 years had passed since their first Valentine's Day together.

She may not have approved of Jessica's career or the fact that the tenth grader even had a career, but she knew deep down she was still the same Jessica Carmichael with a good heart and a great upbringing. Besides, Olivia didn't want to do what Mrs. Cabot had done for so many years when Alex and Olivia first got together—she didn't want to take her daughter's happiness away.

"Do I have your permission?" Jessica asked, bringing Olivia back to reality.

"Do you promise to respect her?" Olivia asked.

"Yes," Jessica said eagerly.

"Do you promise not to make her do anything physical that she doesn't want to do?"

"I promise," Jessica said.

"Most importantly, do you promise not to break her heart?"

"I'd never break her heart," Jessica said and started smiling. "I care about her way too much to do that."

"Then go get your girl," Olivia told her as Jessica started beaming even more.

Courtney and Jessica said goodbye to Olivia and made their way over to the movie theater. As they were leaving, Courtney turned around and mouthed 'I love you' to Olivia. Her little girl was going to have a girlfriend. No matter how much she thought about it, she still couldn't believe it.

Olivia managed to squeeze in an hour long nap before she heard the sound of keys unlocking her apartment door. It was her day off, but until that nap it had been far from relaxing.

"Babe?" Alex called out.

"I'm in the room," Olivia responded. Alex entered the room carrying a bottle of wine and two glasses. It wasn't the most romantic thing they had done for Valentine's Day, but they were both too exhausted to do anything extravagant.

"Happy Valentine's Day," Alex said and gave Olivia a kiss. "I love you."

"I love you, too. Can you believe we're alone on Valentine's Day? When was the last time this happened?"

"1996," Alex told her as she poured the wine for them.

"1996?"

"And I was pregnant then, so it's not like we had the _best _Valentine's Day."

"Kurt is telling Lily that he loves her and Jessica is going to ask Courtney to be her girlfriend."

"I think I just aged another five years after hearing that."

"Alex?"

"Yes?"

"When did we turn thirty-eight? It seems like just yesterday we became a couple."

"That was twenty years ago," Alex said and handed her a wine glass. "As hectic as our lives have been, these past twenty years with you have been the best years of my life."

"Here's to the next twenty years being even better," Olivia said and clinked her glass to Alex's.

"Liv, you know what wine does to me," Alex reminded her. "It's Valentine's Day, the kids are gone, and I have you all to myself. I'm thinking a bubble bath sounds perfect right now."

Before Olivia could respond, Alex started removing her clothes and underwear. She grabbed their wine glasses and took them into their bathroom with her. All of those years of seeing Alex's body and she still couldn't get enough of her. She turned her on just as much at thirty-eight as she did at eighteen. Once she heard the water running, Olivia quickly removed her clothes and hurried over to the bathroom. They had already experienced so much together throughout the past thirty-three years that they had known each other, but Olivia knew the best was yet to come.

**The End.**


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